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They Watch Us:

Perched high upon the mountains;
With wings as black as night.
They watch us in the hour,
Before darkness turns to light.

I've seen them in my visions;
In dreams they come and go,
But the things they seem to tell me
I guess nobody should know...

I've seen children that are buried,
Beneath a frozen lake.
A maiden sits there weeping;
Her heart is soon to break.

The crows flutter downward,
A noose amongst their hands.
They take the maiden away,
To a dark and distant land.

And even if I follow -
Even if I try...
I'll simply end up buried,
Where the frozen children lie.

-Chen Yuan Wen, 10th November 2012
Arrr maties,

BONUS RELEASE. This piece was done for :iconzune164: for his birthday on the 10th of November.

This backstory to this poem is once again a snippet from 'The Legend of Chenbeard'. It's the other story I'll be releasing over summer break.

In the world of Chenbeard the pirate, the fantasy world of Gaia, there are a race of humanoids with black wings known as the Sumi'tar. They are said to be the descendants of giants and although they resemble human barbarian tribes, in terms of their traditions and beliefs, the are much taller, bulkier and tougher than the average human.

Killing a Sumi'tar warrior takes a lot of effort and this is made worse by the fact that they are skilled combatants who enjoy conflict. Furthermore they bear an incredible resistance to poisons and disease, much like the dwarves, meaning cheap-shots don't quite work against them either.

Amongst the various races, the Sumi'tar are one of the few that can inherently wield Spiritech weapons without training and without suffering from spirit poisoning or magical mutation. The only other races that bear this trait are Orcs, Dwarves and Merfolk.

If you want to learn more about Spiritech weaponry and see the world I will craft for you...then look forward to summer break. It's all coming soon :3 (Necromancer is also set in the same universe so there'll be many similarities between the two stories).

As for me, I'm studying hard for my exams and trying to cope with some...personal difficulties. It's not too bad though and during such times you always find out who your real friends are.

I'll be back soon my friends, with all the colours of a freakin' epic RAINBOW *___*

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconmiyu713:
Stunning work! :D

The flow was great, each line leading flawlessly to the next. The entire concept strong!

This has got to be one of my favorites! The images used and the emotion were captured incredibly well.

There was only one grammatical error. 'I'm seen them in my visions;'

One section in particular I was actually quite fond of:
I've seen children that are buried,
Beneath a frozen lake.
A maiden sits there weeping;
Her heart is soon to break.

It seemed to me to be the strongest section that stood out to me.

On another note, the poem seems almost lyrical!

Magnificent job captain! :)
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
20 out of 22 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconsenpaisakura:
Beautifully dark and haunting. I personally try to make things flow without using rhyme, but I feel like with this piece the rhyming makes it complete and adds a lot to it. If I read this at night alone in a house, I probably would get chills up and down my back. You have a very good selection of words that flow and all carry the same connotations of darkness and cold beauty.

I'm not thinking of any good suggestions at this point in time. I can't find anything that clashes in it and I can't find anything that doesn't flow like it should. I pronounce this work complete.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
8 out of 9 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconpepfav:
pepfav Featured By Owner May 1, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
wow
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:iconfaithbrier:
faithbrier Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Omg
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:iconiminlokisarmy:
iminlokisarmy Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014
We had to read one of our favorite poems at school.  I read this one. I think I may have made a few people scared of me.....
Reply
:iconsplitninja:
SplitNinja Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I can see what's happening in my head clearly in this poem.
Nice last sentence in the description by the way.xD
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:iconthink-analyze-beyou:
Think-Analyze-BeYou Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Gives me chills!! Amazing.
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:iconpietroschek:
Pietroschek Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
When will you finish the pen&paper roleplaying versions and the trading card game software???
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:iconsamuraishoujo95:
samuraishoujo95 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
aahh the imagery of this is just *-*
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:iconbirdkiller:
Birdkiller Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Professional Writer
This was a fun read.
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:iconluna33:
Luna33 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012
Awesome.
I'd switch one of the lines around to "Away they take the maiden" but overall I love it.
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:iconkailani-e:
Kailani-e Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Amazing. I love this piece, there's such a haunting captivation in it, and a foreshadowing of a much deeper story. Rhyming usually puts me off, but you used it wonderfully here. It adds to the beat. Great piece! :D
Reply
:iconaugumon05:
augumon05 Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
the darkest side of the human emotion known as fear is well shown hear. they think things have become hopeless after seeing many others end in that particular way.
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:iconfrumpysnuffleupigus:
frumpysnuffleupigus Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ya, I think you know what Im about to say XD
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:icongeekgirl97:
GeekGirl97 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
truly impressive, imagery is plainly awesome! so obscure, yet beautiful and very intriguing :33

simply lovely!!! :love:
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:iconladysparrow01:
LadySparrow01 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student General Artist
This one's pretty dark. I like it. : ) Great imagery and flow.
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:icontzikiiwolf:
TzikiiWolf Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Filmographer
This is incredible! You are very talented :) Great job :)
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:iconlillyloligresse:
LillyLoLigresse Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is so freaking beautiful, love this shit<3
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:icontheoneandonlychris:
TheOneAndOnlyChris Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I LOVE THIS! Thank you.
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:icontheamericanrealist:
TheAmericanRealist Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Writer
Need I say it??? Not really but I'll say it anyways. Cap, great piece, and I look forward to your next one.
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:icondie798:
die798 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
really great poem :D love the end, so dismal :)
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Hidden by Owner
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Professional Writer
Good work, but please don't post the full work in the comments. Comments are for comments and this would make it in convenient for other readers ^^;. Next time just post a link to the submitted deviation. I've hidden the comment for now so that the comments section isn't too stretched okay? ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconandreanechita:
AndreaNechita Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
oh okay, sure
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:iconsnappyirides:
SnappyIrides Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
WOW. Wow. Nice rhythym, arresting start. Love it
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you, the fans helped to improve it further ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconmoltres27:
Moltres27 Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
You created a very beautiful haunting image with this, i pray that you get famous
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you, perhaps I will ^^ e-book release (hopefully in december) and more poetry and stories to come after my official return on the 21st ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconmoltres27:
Moltres27 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
you are really a poet, Can u please try writing some songs and sending them to some A&R. You really are talented, you can be a top class lyricist, im saying this because, thats what i do. I listen songs for lyrics and less for music. and there are so many songwriters these days who suck but are famous, like taylor swift, bruno mars et etc. You are way better.
and thank you for replying me
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Professional Writer
haha, nah, that kind of day job doesn't make you much. If I wrote songs I'd also rather sing them myself for you guys. Instead I'll be a finance professional (which is what I'm trained for) until my writing takes off. I'll also be releasing e-books and other materials, so don't worry. There will be plenty to keep you all occupied :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconmoltres27:
Moltres27 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
who are your favorite poets and lyricists?
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Professional Writer
I don't really have any favourites since I rarely read the works of established poets. In terms of lyricists, I guess I draw a lot of LeeSang's Kang Gary for emotional works (though he's always singing about romance and stuff, but it's the same sort of vibe I want to pull off), for my darker works I don't really draw on any bands, because they are usually skewed one way or another. Amon Amarth is all viking viking viking, then Cradle of Filth is all evil evil evil xD You get what I mean.

Most of the time I do my own thing, because inspiration can come from anywhere and any source ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconmoltres27:
Moltres27 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Yea, you are absolutely right, most songs these days don't mean anything. if they do its all textbook love or hate. i hate the satanic bands myself. But if i find a song thats creates a picture in you mind like you do, i cant stop listening. even though most people might not get a teeny bit out of it. some days back i read the lyrics of Linkin Parks - In My remains. and i believe they have the greatest depth ever. Somthing people like me can never do, and guys like you will try very hard,
and i really do suggest you to read and try and crack the lyrics of this song :P

[link]
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Professional Writer
I might when I have time ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconbrexanimexmanga:
BreXAnimeXManga Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Wow! this is so deep! You are epic!
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you for enjoying it ^^ More to come after my official return on the 21st ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconbrexanimexmanga:
BreXAnimeXManga Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
YOU ARE MOST WELCOME THANK YOU FOR WRITING IT! ALL YOUR WORK IS AMAZING! CAN'T WAIT!
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you, more be comin' real soon :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconbrexanimexmanga:
BreXAnimeXManga Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
YAY!:hug:
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:icondragonofyang:
dragonofyang Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Dark and haunting as always. Love it!
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you for enjoying it my dear friend. More to come during my official return on the 21st ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:icondragonofyang:
dragonofyang Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Good luck on your exams! ^^
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:iconfly-gonz:
Fly-gonz Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012
It's always amazing how much time you have to submit to so many groups. For about ~4,000 views, you only need about 55 groups, I think.
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Professional Writer
Well unfortunately, it doesn't work that way, but you may try it if you like xD

That said, submitting to a large number of groups doesn't take much time.

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconfly-gonz:
Fly-gonz Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
What do you mean it doesn't work that way?

Is submitting to lots of groups a feature of Premium Membership? Because right now, I'm going to a group, visiting their gallery, and clicking "Contribute to Gallery." It takes half an hour to submit to 50 groups, after which I run out of patience.
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Professional Writer
Um...no, you have to go to contribute gallery one by one.

I meant 50 groups won't be enough to get 4,000 on poetry with no art covers (and unlike other artists who steal art, I don't find it honourable to use art I didn't create).

There is no process to instantly submit to a lot of groups and most artists that do, were not premium members. There are however 2 ways to make it faster. You can try the 'Brens Method' which I don't use; that involves memorising all the group names and using the submit to groups button on the side of your poem. However I don't have enough memory capacity for 300 names, 50 is possible, 300 no.

Or you can do what I do and put them all into a bookmark list (Chrome allows you to create folders and stuff) and go one by one that way. It's much faster for me to do that because then all I have to do is to click the folder and click the book marked group page and while one is loading, I can open another.

My friends have also suggested that because I am Asian, I can naturally click faster than other humans lol (as evidenced by koreans play starcraft, though I'm chinese). I really don't have any other tips for you. The more you practice the faster you get I guess. I don't know of any convenient feature that make you submit faster.

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconfly-gonz:
Fly-gonz Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
I've done that already with a short story. 55 groups, no art cover, and 3969 views as of now (and you've got a far greater fan base compared to me). Nonetheless, promoting stuff is really annoying... so I generally don't do it unless I'm really really proud of what I wrote.

But thanks for the tips for fast group submission. Much appreciate it.
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Professional Writer
That was because you used a political topic ^^;

You'll notice on DA there are certain art trends. If it's emo (and involves suicide etc. or really depressing stuff) it'll get more views than normal. In fact, some pieces like that have over 12,000 views without being in a single group. Same with anything involving God, or controversial matters, if it gets on the front page it will have a large viewership.

However, as a varied artist and as an artist in general, I believe that unless I'm GENUINELY writing something that I feel strongly about; I don't want to abuse art trends and items that I know will be a sure-fire success (because for me that's copping out). Hehe, the difference is actually quite clear on 'Sorry I'm A Man', it has less groups but way more views than this piece, which is almost a pure fantasy piece. The title is usually very important to the piece, as is the content (so certain keywords are hit, like tags on youtube). Some artists know this and choose to abuse that knowledge, but that would really be selling out. So I personally prefer to just try and showcase my work in as many places as possible so that people can decide if they like it, even if it's something considered unpopular like fantasy or a heroic story =P

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconfly-gonz:
Fly-gonz Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
Whatever you prefer. Basically you are saying that page views isn't indicative of how "good" a piece is. I agree.
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Professional Writer
Um no, I said that art trends exist and if you're smart enough you can probably use them to make yourself a hit for about a month at most even without groups. Viewership is indicative of how 'good' a piece is, but not by itself. You have to also account for the favourites your piece is receiving and the watcher retention rate. Meaning how many new watchers you are getting for your effort.

Market research isn't just a one track thing ^^;

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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(1 Reply)
:iconmusketeer-traveler:
musketeer-traveler Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist
Gosh, I have the chills now!!
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you for enjoying it ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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November 10, 2012
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