Sta.sh
Sorry I'm A Man:
He stands there naked
A blank-faced label
No features
No face
He is not an individual
He is exactly what you make him to be
The product of your misguided hate
The product of your personal prejudice
Caught blind and shackled
Voice stripped and throat cut
On knees and hands
He crawls beneath a slanderous hail
"Let they who are without sin, be the first to cast a stone"
Then you must all be innocent, unblackened and pure
Instead what I see
Is not angel wings and a white halo
Instead what I see
Is your silent profanity
Twisted obscene mask of humanity
Beneath the righteous sword of a figure of justice
Lies a rotting core of devil's teeth and black smoke
Blasphemous abberation
Crooked mirror of lies
"Guilty until proven innocent"
Is what I see in your eyes
He is not an individual
He is exactly what you make him to be
He is the monster, the abuser, the criminal and the pig
He is the violent, the drunk, the pervert and the enemy
Care not for the fact that he is a person
For at his core he cannot be human
All are like him, carbon-copies
And in the end they are all the same
Thus we decree that they shall stand naked
With blank-faced labels
No features
No face
Forever condemned to bear a shameful title
We of the cowardly creed shall dub thee
'Man!'
-Chen Yuan Wen, 2nd October 2012
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But yeh, I <3'ed it!
I noticed this poem got quiet a mixed amount of reactions and feelings towards it. I agree with about 98% of what you are saying. However, men can stand up for themselves if they see that they are not being treated equal. Just as the african americans did in their freedom movements, as the woman did for womans rights, ect. But I appluad you for taking a stand on this specific topic, and doing it well. It is only an insult to injury when artists cannot portray what theyre feeling for a cause. You did well!
The short, almost choppy phrases put an emphasis on the thoughts and words, and drew the reader's eye to your main focal points. This gives it a more powerful feel. LIke a controlled anger, which is quiet an appropriate idea for such a poem as this.
Your voice is strong, and can clearly be heard throughout and within your words.
The visualization is brash, and prodes its way into the reader's imagination. Thus creating a greater affect on the impact of your poem.
Wonderful ideas and writting. Your style is bold, and I believe that because it is such a debateable topic, it will be loved more by the audience. One side feels like they're finally being heard, while the other feels the need to be heard. Wonderful vicious cycle yes? Vicious in a beautiful, dark way that is.
Keep on writting, I'd love to see more poems parrallel to this one.
May the odds be ever in your favor!
-LuvThemHungerGames
It was rare for this to happen and the last time it happened, I was listening to "Pathetique" by Tchaikovsky.
The other time was reading "The Raven."
I can't place a finger upon it, but I felt a great sense of loss at the end. A part of me died. Sorrow gripped me as the I read it, and it multiplied as I read on. Another powerful poem. People have said that a picture is worth a thousand words but this poem had painted a lot of pictures more than I can count.
An outstanding command of moods and the ability to blend them. Really original. I applaud you for creating yet another masterpiece.
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