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Pressure:

You try to breathe, but you're barely breathing,

You can't think clearly; you can barely speak.

Your mind is filled with needless thoughts.

Your cheeks are red and feverish...

-

You know what you must do,

But you can't bring yourself to do it.

Instead you jump into a thousand distractions...

Mindlessly seeking the thrill of the 'anything',

You cringe at the progress of time on the clock.

And with lips gone dry from an internal hell-fire

You continue to evade what you cannot face...




-Chen Yuan Wen, 22nd June 2013
If ye enjoyed it, don't forget t' fave it (^_^)/ Each fave is a vote fer popularity :3

I would also really appreciate facebook shares of my poem (^3^)/

Author's Comment:

Aye maties,

How many times have ye lived while feeling the weight of mental pressure?

It rips yer motivation apart and rather than doing your best, you fumble. Honestly, acknowledging this is one of the best ways t' get over it, but it can still break ya easy.

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:



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Add a Comment:
 
:icontowersbeachfairy89:
WOW! This really speaks to me. I was feeling this way last night. I can clearly envision this whole poem in my mind. Just the rush of all the emotion that you put in this is breath taking in my opinion. The impact from this was just BAM! There for sure and the originality is simple and comes from the soul. I have a clear vision of it yes and you seemed to know exactly how to put the very thoughts and emotions into this. It's short sweet and simple but does make a powerful impact. Nicely done!!!! I like this!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
28 out of 31 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconrofl185:
You did a really good job on this. The vision it created was very good. There wasn't a ton of figurative language which I liked, but also kind of damaged the vision. I really don't think it could be changed to be any better, though.You get a five for vision! The originality is definitely a five. I've never read something like it. I'm happy I got to Your technique was wonderful. The impact will stay with me, but maybe not forever. The repetition at the beginning is something I liked.
Overall, you did a really great job! Be Proud! Keep writing!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
6 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconliefje-saki:
Liefje-Saki Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013
What a coincidence that I just stumbled on this after submitted my vent about pressure xD I have the same title which is what made me read yours
Reply
:iconcatsonacid:
catsonacid Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013  Student General Artist
This is great! 
Reply
:iconsmokedragon:
smokedragon Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013
This was definitely how I was feeling last week. I've been taking an accelerated summer Statistics class, and I had reached a point in my comprehension of the material where no matter how hard I studied it, no matter how many times I practiced the concepts, I still couldn't grasp it. I felt like I was hitting a wall, over and over, all the while the deadlines going by. I knew instinctively that I was very close to comprehending it, and that it was some small, silly thing that kept me from it. That sort of thing is quite infuriating to me. In any case, I went a little bibbledy and took a very short unplanned vacation. I've since figured it out, and caught my work up, but this piece was a clear and striking reflection of just how intense those same feelings of pressure can be. Nicely done!
Reply
:iconnoorelven:
noorelven Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
pressure is one perspective .. procrastination another :P
Reply
:iconcrazy-aika:
crazy-aika Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Just how i feel! it was amazing!
Reply
:icontigemari:
tigemari Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013
I didnt think there was a way out this really intrigued me I am headed right for the top no pressure just check it out
[link]
Reply
:iconjanee018:
Janee018 Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Professional Artist
Woah this is soo linked with one of my poems called "They are laughing, sniggering..." which is about the same thing, pressure. :) You hit the nail on the head about pressure by the way. I think the exact same thing. If you wanna check out the poem on my page do, because it's so strange how similar the poems are :P You don't have to check it out if you don't want to, mind you :L:L But it's really cool all the same that the two of us see pressure as the same feeling.

Love this poem :D
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Writer
Sure then, I'll have a look over o' some of them ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconjanee018:
Janee018 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Artist
thankies :)
Reply
:icongilpires:
GilPires Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013
you basically just described pressure , that's what is putting a feeling into words xD
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Writer
Aye pretty much, we've all felt it no? ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:icondomosushiluver:
DomoSushiLuver Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013
wow that's simply amazing
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank ye so kindly :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:icondomosushiluver:
DomoSushiLuver Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013
no prob
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
Another one for my faves.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Writer
Aye, I only hope that more of me works please ya ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:icontanithlipsky:
TanithLipsky Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2013
nice
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank ye kindly ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2013  Student Writer
Very well written with precise wording good job
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank ye fer enjoyin' it me friend :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013  Student Writer
:) it is okay please feel free to check out some of my gallery if you have time
Reply
:iconcrysanthemum963:
crysanthemum963 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013
Ah what a poetic way of describing this :nuu:.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank ye kindly fer enjoyin' it ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconcrysanthemum963:
crysanthemum963 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013
^^ Glad I could read another poem from ya ;P.
Reply
:iconzephyras-lied:
Zephyras-Lied Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013  Student General Artist
I really love this poem :D During speeches, that's pretty much what happens to me. One time, I kinda spun the remote for a PowerPoint, and I dropped it. Anyway, keep up the wonderful work!
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Writer
Me thanks fer enjoyin' it m' dear, more be comin' soon ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconpurple146:
Purple146 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is very emotional. I rather like it a lot.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank ye so kindly fer enjoyin' it :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconklystron2010:
klystron2010 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
So true. xD
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Writer
Me thanks ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconmiumy96:
Miumy96 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013
i like it, if you read this you can feel it
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Writer
Bwahaha, thank ye kindly ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconkyuzeth:
Kyuzeth Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013
This is very amazing. I'm certain many of us have had a rough time in their life at some point...
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Writer
Aye, that I know unfortunately. Tis society's way t' be pressurin'

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconkyuzeth:
Kyuzeth Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013
Yes, society can be a huge burden...
Reply
:icontoomanyflavors:
TooManyFlavors Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I've been feeling like this my whole life..(well..most of the time)


love this poem
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Writer
Oh aye, I can understand that fer sure x3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:icontoomanyflavors:
TooManyFlavors Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
=)
Reply
:iconsylverfire-lilithe:
SylverFire-Lilithe Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
........that is how I feel everyday...... -_-
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Writer
In some circumstances, even I be feelin' that way :/

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconsylverfire-lilithe:
SylverFire-Lilithe Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconjae10:
Jae10 Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha, first two things that popped into meh weird little brain, after I read this poem, was 'commitments' and 'procrastination' xD

But those aren't the reasons I really like this poem though - very nice, very nice indeed^w^
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Writer
Bwahaha thank ye kindly me friend ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconserulene:
serulene Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2013
I can really identify with this. :+fav:
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Writer
Me thanks fer enjoyin' me work friend ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconserulene:
serulene Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013
Yer welcome, hehe. x3
Reply
:iconangelichope:
angelichope Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2013
" with lips gone dry from an internal hell-fire

You continue to evade what you cannot face...
"

That line was incredible!!!!:love:
And all the rest relates to me too!!!:D
Great job!!!!:D
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Writer
Bwahaha, agreed, we're all procrastinators are we not? x3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconangelichope:
angelichope Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013
Yes, we really are!:D
Reply
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