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Submitted on
June 21, 2013
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Pressure:

You try to breathe, but you're barely breathing,

You can't think clearly; you can barely speak.

Your mind is filled with needless thoughts.

Your cheeks are red and feverish...

-

You know what you must do,

But you can't bring yourself to do it.

Instead you jump into a thousand distractions...

Mindlessly seeking the thrill of the 'anything',

You cringe at the progress of time on the clock.

And with lips gone dry from an internal hell-fire

You continue to evade what you cannot face...




-Chen Yuan Wen, 22nd June 2013
If ye enjoyed it, don't forget t' fave it (^_^)/ Each fave is a vote fer popularity :3

I would also really appreciate facebook shares of my poem (^3^)/

Author's Comment:

Aye maties,

How many times have ye lived while feeling the weight of mental pressure?

It rips yer motivation apart and rather than doing your best, you fumble. Honestly, acknowledging this is one of the best ways t' get over it, but it can still break ya easy.

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:



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Add a Comment:
 
:icontowersbeachfairy89:
WOW! This really speaks to me. I was feeling this way last night. I can clearly envision this whole poem in my mind. Just the rush of all the emotion that you put in this is breath taking in my opinion. The impact from this was just BAM! There for sure and the originality is simple and comes from the soul. I have a clear vision of it yes and you seemed to know exactly how to put the very thoughts and emotions into this. It's short sweet and simple but does make a powerful impact. Nicely done!!!! I like this!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
28 out of 31 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconrofl185:
You did a really good job on this. The vision it created was very good. There wasn't a ton of figurative language which I liked, but also kind of damaged the vision. I really don't think it could be changed to be any better, though.You get a five for vision! The originality is definitely a five. I've never read something like it. I'm happy I got to Your technique was wonderful. The impact will stay with me, but maybe not forever. The repetition at the beginning is something I liked.
Overall, you did a really great job! Be Proud! Keep writing!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
6 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconliefje-saki:
Liefje-Saki Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013
What a coincidence that I just stumbled on this after submitted my vent about pressure xD I have the same title which is what made me read yours
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:iconcatsonacid:
catsonacid Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013  Student General Artist
This is great! 
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:iconsmokedragon:
smokedragon Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013
This was definitely how I was feeling last week. I've been taking an accelerated summer Statistics class, and I had reached a point in my comprehension of the material where no matter how hard I studied it, no matter how many times I practiced the concepts, I still couldn't grasp it. I felt like I was hitting a wall, over and over, all the while the deadlines going by. I knew instinctively that I was very close to comprehending it, and that it was some small, silly thing that kept me from it. That sort of thing is quite infuriating to me. In any case, I went a little bibbledy and took a very short unplanned vacation. I've since figured it out, and caught my work up, but this piece was a clear and striking reflection of just how intense those same feelings of pressure can be. Nicely done!
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:iconnoorelven:
noorelven Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
pressure is one perspective .. procrastination another :P
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:iconcrazy-aika:
crazy-aika Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Just how i feel! it was amazing!
Reply
:icontigemari:
tigemari Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013
I didnt think there was a way out this really intrigued me I am headed right for the top no pressure just check it out
[link]
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:iconjanee018:
Janee018 Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Professional Artist
Woah this is soo linked with one of my poems called "They are laughing, sniggering..." which is about the same thing, pressure. :) You hit the nail on the head about pressure by the way. I think the exact same thing. If you wanna check out the poem on my page do, because it's so strange how similar the poems are :P You don't have to check it out if you don't want to, mind you :L:L But it's really cool all the same that the two of us see pressure as the same feeling.

Love this poem :D
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Writer
Sure then, I'll have a look over o' some of them ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconjanee018:
Janee018 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional Artist
thankies :)
Reply
:icongilpires:
GilPires Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013
you basically just described pressure , that's what is putting a feeling into words xD
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