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January 1, 2013
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Practice Poem - Man in Cage:

When I was young I was taught that pain begets pain,
Anger and animosity, malice and cruelty;
So deeply inflicted, so lovingly gifted.
I tasted of its rotten core and dared to call it sweet.

But what do I have to show for it?
White hot scars that burn in my dreams.
Reminders of a fragmented bi-polar self;
Self inflicted propaganda, to reinforce the "truth".

Truth so lovingly fabricated by a weakness within,
So desperately crying out for vindication;
Openly denying all that might shed light upon me,
Seeking only the company of shades in shadows...

Within four walls I sleep in exile;
Quietly pretending that I am still sane,
Never noticing how it has all turned out;
Alone I remain the same...




Never reaching, never living; I am free within the cage




-Chen Yuan Wen, 1st January 2012
If you liked my work, please take a moment to click that fave button in the corner (^_^)/ Thank you!

If you'd like to support me and learn about things like my facebook page and live youtube show, scroll down past the author's comment to learn more :3

Author's Comment:

Arrr me hearties,

T'night I decided t' release this practice piece I did. More as a way of promotin' meself now that it's close t' the release date of me e-book.

In any case this poem was me experiment with the concept of an 'abstract poem'. That is t' say one that doesn't outright state its meaning and leaves you t' guess many things about it.

I can certainly say it was very difficult t' try and keep t' a concrete base idea while still keeping things relatively subtle. I doubt this could be considered anywhere near good but I suppose it wasn't bad fer a first practice run at the abstract stuff. I'm much more used to just splashing th' theme outright I suppose, rather than keepin' it hidden.

Also you might notice a kind of urban/spoken word feel t' this piece and if ye did, then yer right. I used slam as the basis for it ^^

Enjoy :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:

Support Me Section :3

If you'd like to support me and help spread the Word of Chen, here are a few ways you can do so:

1. Share this deviation! - You can share this deviation on facebook and other social media by just copying and pasting the link or using the buttons on the right hand side of the deviation to automatically share it to certain pages. Each time you share it you're helping me reach a wider audience so I'm very happy to have my works spread. :iconhappyblushplz:

2. Come like and post on my facebook page! - A lot of deviants don't know that I have a facebook page here: [link] :iconshockplz: However, if you are on facebook then feel free to come like the page and post comments. I love to reply to comments and though I'm lazy I do actually post stuff once in awhile ^^ (I'll try to be more frequent so like it please :iconpussinbootsplz:

3. Come watch my youtube show - [link] :iconherotimeplz: I have a live youtube show that I do weekly (though I haven't filmed anything since I've been living the hermit life while writing my book) however there are six episodes with more being added all the time. So please check it out if you have time.

4. Buy an e-book :3 - COMING SOON! But really they're very cheap so if you have some spare change then give some to this hobo pirate please? Me throat can't make th' pirate accent without spare change yah? Well I can but y'know SPARE CHANGE is awesome :3

5. Like my work in general? - Come visit my gallery and see if there's anything else you like. Currently I only have one Lit. folder but I'll divide them properly later, for now here is the link: [link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconweekendhunters:
Amazing! I like this poem. It captures precisely what we would usually feel whenever we take our revenge or inflict pain on someone, despite being taught that it is wrong and only adds to the chain of suffering, yet we do it, because deep inside, we actually enjoy it.

Furthermore, we would keep on trying to justify it, no matter how feeble, on why we did such a thing, just so that we could do it again. But deep inside, the feeling of guilt is still there, and it latches on to you even as you try to forget it or trying to justify it, but in the end, you must bear the scars of your own guilt.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
4 out of 5 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconmaj0rmaremolester:
Critique by Maj0rMareMolester Jan 3, 2013, 12:55:05 AM
You're right this poem couldn't be considered anywhere near good because that would be an understatement: This piece is simply amazing :D There really isn't anything to point out that needs improvement so I'll just get to the rating:

Vision - 5 stars because you stuck with the theme and the character's thoughts are shown very aesthetically where it is almost as if I am the one experiencing it all.

Originality - 5 starts because I have never seen any other piece nearly like this one; it really stands out as well as originality can.

Technique - 5 stars because you made it to be abstract and, although I may have an assumption of what the piece is about, I'm not really sure what the concrete idea behind this is and so it was executed very well.

Impact - 5 stars because everyone seems to think about it a good bit, myself included, and that is a very effective way to impact the reader; if we never thought about it it wouldn't stay with us after we clicked off of this page.

Perfect score all around and I hope to see more of this style from you soon ^^
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
7 out of 7 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:iconpoetryfreak15:
poetryfreak15 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013
Very unique. Wonderful writing!
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Aye me thanks friend :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconpoetryfreak15:
poetryfreak15 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
you're most welcome :)
Reply
:iconsircrashiii:
SirCrashIII Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013
Wonderful piece!~
Thank you very much my friend!
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Yer most welcome, twas just what was in my mind :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconzephyras-lied:
Zephyras-Lied Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Student General Artist
For a practice poem, I believe this rather. I believe this is about revenge and hatred, how it made him feel better while all the while he became insane. This was very interesting, I can't wait to see other tries at abstract poetry.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Writer
huhuhu, we'll just have t' see what this pirate comes up with ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:icondanceininfinity:
DanceInInfinity Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Interesting. I liked this poem a lot. Well done.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank ye, I enjoyed the abstract style :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconneckbeardalmighty:
neckbeardalmighty Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
More angsty emo lyrics! Awesome.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Writer
If that be what ye like t' think

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconlilfixit:
lilfixit Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Interesting...I like it.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Will you be having another? *Thor style* xd

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconlilfixit:
lilfixit Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Always if they're from you! You do good work!
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Professional Writer
Well then, if ye be seekin' another o' me works. I'll just leave this bit' o self promotion right here:

T'would really help me out if ye visited me e-book's publication page and liked or shared it. If ye want t' sample it as well, ye can read the first 15% o' the book free.

Here be th' link (^_^)> [link]

Thank ye :iconfluttershyyayplz:

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconangelgirlartist:
angelgirlartist Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
*stares and thinks* Your poems make me think, rather it be about what they mean to me, their connection to me, or a random back story.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Writer
I do love to make people think ^^

Thank ye fer readin' me friend :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconcootsmeister:
cootsmeister Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
it fits, sadly too well. A life of pain and confusion summed up in a few sentences. Look forward to reading more.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Aye, I do hope that ye read more and if ye like it, come check out me e-book. It be hot off th' presses t'day ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconandreality:
andreality Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
Amazing!
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank ye kindly ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconlonelysorceress:
LonelySorceress Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student Photographer
I have only two words for you: bloody hell.

This is .... amazing. I really don't think I can say any more without the words being paltry and insignificant, and nowhere near the truth of how good this is.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Well if ye praise me like that this mere pirate is gonna melt under his blush eh?

Thank ye kindly fer enjoyin' it ^^ If ye like me epics, come check out me e-book :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconyahoolyafool:
YahoolYafool Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
this is really deep :D once again this is amazing, i bow to the amazinness of this poem :iconbowplz:
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Me deepest thanks ^^

I'm glad that toph approves haha xD

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconyahoolyafool:
YahoolYafool Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
And my shallowest welcomes :D

Toph found it extremely difficult not to

- Toph Beifong of the Gaang
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Professional Writer
Bwahaha, well then Miss Beifong. Seein' as ye be wealthy and all this pirate might just promote his own work here. If ye don't mind ;3

T'would really help me out if ye visited me e-book's publication page and liked or shared it. If ye want t' sample it as well, ye can read the first 15% o' the book free.

Here be th' link (^_^)> [link]

Thank ye :iconfluttershyyayplz:

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:

P.S. its okay if yer blind just pretend t' like it eh Miss Beifong? xD
Reply
:iconyahoolyafool:
YahoolYafool Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i apologize for the delayed reply, Captain Chenbeard, my scribe was being rather derpy.

I would be delighted to read your book, and will be sure to purchase it as soon as i can get a couple of yuans gathered

-Toph beifong of The Gaang

P.S.S. i will simply have Aang or Katara read it for me
Reply
:iconkyuubifox9:
kyuubifox9 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's good but it could definitly use some work. I'm not going to be like the individual above me and trash your work without reading the author's comments. For a first try, it's definitely a lot better than some of the other 'abstract' poems that I've read through the years. It could use some work, of course, but it's not a bad read. Definitely enjoyable and it is enough to make one think.

Keep writing,
Vivian.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you ^^ and he wasn't trashing it :3 You see the core of the abstract poem is to make a person think.

To be honest, an experienced poet like myself knows that this actually says NOTHING. If you read it properly, and in a literal manner to an extent, it actually has no meaning. That is the set up ;3

Then you write the author's comment which as he said is an 'excuse' though I prefer the term, 'artistic disassociation'. You then leave people you form their own opinion about the piece; thereby allowing it to act like a Rorschach test of sorts. What does a person see within the garbled words? What really stands out to them?

The nature of an abstract poem is not to bring across an excellent meaning, but to look within the reader and see what they're feeling. I do apologise, but it was just too lovely a chance not to try this :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconkinthinia:
Kinthinia Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student Writer
I can't come up with an idea for the whole poem, but the style and flow are quite lovely. I especially love the last stanza and the very last line really stands out to me. I love how it sets the limitation to the speaker's life/reality. Beautifully written but... I can't quite decide what it's about. Abuse? With the references to pain etc. Not quite sure...
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Well that's the key t' an abstract poem, it is what ye project onta it. So I wonder what ye truly see? :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconkinthinia:
Kinthinia Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Writer
Ahaha I just jump to the dramatic conclusions XD it's a really dramatic story of suffering and escaping but still being haunted by the experiences later on.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Professional Writer
Interestin' interestin', I personally be a tad inta drama meself. Anywho, just gonna leave some self-promotion here:

T'would really help me out if ye visited me e-book's publication page and liked or shared it. If ye want t' sample it as well, ye can read the first 15% o' the book free.

Here be th' link (^_^)> [link]

Thank ye :iconfluttershyyayplz:

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:icontenchibaka:
tenchibaka Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
not going to lie, for as pretty as the words are they don't really say anything, it is as if you took a nice generic topic and tried to fit as many flowery bits of rhyme in it as possible. it is basically angsty fluff, as insubstantial as a house of cardboard, it looks sturdy but is easily broken when you try to look for something deeper

which is not to say it isn't nice to look at but when i read it so that i could explain to my friend what it was trying to express i got nothing which is a sad thing indeed and as poetry is considered a failure. i'd give it an 'a' if it was written by a teenager who has yet to live life deeply and only know the first pangs of of it. as a legitimate expression of pain lived by an adult through a tried and true style? i give it a 'd'. shallow and uninspired but nicely written bit of fop by someone with only first-world problems


for those wondering why i took a stab at a reply without reading the ac first? in written things it often sways the opinion if one reads the excuses made and to be honest if i had read the author's comments before replying instead of after i would have only given the insipid but accurate reply of 'well it is not bad for a first try and written well' which is hardly anything worth saying at all and is about as useful as all the equally insipid comments about this being an amazing exemplary piece of gold(it seems on deviant only suck-ups and trolls ever speak so i am sure this will get tagged as troll behavior instead of honest critique because i am not using the comp/crit/comp method minus the critique) all and all it is not bad but it is not good either and needs plenty of work though you have a solid base to work with you just need a different topic if you wish to keep the style
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Professional Writer
Note first, it's an abstract poem. I think your view of it is coloured by the fact that you've seen enough teenage stuff to find that this is similar. You own experiences colour that and therefore you project that and see that in this piece. You seem to place greater weight upon your own difficulties and thus you see 'whining' in this, when really there was nothing to be seen in the first place.

However, as you said, this poem doesn't really say anything and it is designed that way. Abstract poems at their very core have to only sound and give a vague idea as to what they portray. Everyone else just fills in the blanks.

If I had to make a comparison, it's like listening to those ghost EVP's where people believe they're hearing something which could just be garbled noise.

It's interesting to see how different people react to it :3 So overall I'd say you're a very serious individual, perhaps with a hint of bitterness, resentment and do I catch the barest sniff of anger? I was pleased to find that I am correct looking over your journal entries. How interestingly delicious

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:icontenchibaka:
tenchibaka Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013
the more we say allowed the more we whisper silently XD other than the anger which i felt none of at the time or even now you are spot-on about me and i am glad you are seeing things with open eyes and while i still say it sounds shallow i now see that you yourself aver very much not. congratulations you have swayed a cynic into giving you a chance
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Professional Writer
Haha, well that is how things are is it not? The shallowest of works appear to receive the best of comments. If music today is any particular guide, I'd say that the current generation of humans is not comprised of deep thinkers. There are of course plenty of exceptions with whom I keep company, but we always have to be aware of the majority ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconsnowywolf13:
snowywolf13 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I love the last line, "free within the cage."
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Writer
That was one I really wanted t' use haha ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconsnowywolf13:
snowywolf13 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
That's how it seems to go XD :)
Reply
:iconmaniacalfreak:
ManiacalFreak Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wonderfully written! Very powerful!
It made me really feel things and think!
An amazing poem to start of the new year!
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank ye kindly fer th' compliment, starting off with a bang is indeed a good thing ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconmaniacalfreak:
ManiacalFreak Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Indeed it is! :D
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Speakin' o' bangs...would ye be interested in checkin' out me e-book? ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconmaniacalfreak:
ManiacalFreak Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You've caught my interest there. ^^
I'd love to see it.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Feel free t' enjoy the sample. I've combined poems AND prose into a book. I use poems t' set th' backstory and then the writing just gets right inta th' thick of it. If the sample be of interest t' ye, give it a like ^^ Even without a purchase, every little bit helps :3

Shamless self-promotion I know, but I do be a pirate after all ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconmaniacalfreak:
ManiacalFreak Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That sounds wonderful. I'd love to read the sample!^^
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Hehe, just follow the links on me front page :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconjessynvanessa:
jessynvanessa Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
"truth s lovingy fabricated by a weakness within"...that is a great line!
Reply
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