literature

Practice Poem - D and D Tongue Twister

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Practice Poem - D&D Tongue Twist:

So here, sit down, get down;
Everyone just f'in' hit the ground.
Cause I'm rhymin' with some rap I stole,
Everyone in the house just sit and roll;
Cause I'm burnin' fire with an Undead Monk
Yeah I play D&D when I'm f'in drunk.
Rush feats that'll make you go mad in black,
You'll scribble all over that fanny pack.

Now I'm crusin' through some Elven Wood,
Searchin' up some dude for the stolen good,
When a dragon pops out snarl and roar,
Man I roll for a 'Fist of Garandor'.
Eight dee six damage added through and through,
'Chain fist' makes me some Dragon Goo.
Got loot poppin' outta my character sheet;
Don't wanna get it stained with my milk and wheat...

So I sit in a tavern restin' up,
While the DM fills his restin' gut.
And his mom comes in the f'in room,

"Hey why didja enter mah lair of doom!"

"Do you want me to bring some pizza rolls?"

"Goddamit Mom I'm the Evil Grole!"

"But do you want some of those f'in pizza rolls?"

"Yeah I'll have some mom just make 'em gold..."




Man, this is why I love comin' over...




-Chen Yuan Wen, 9th January 2013
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Author's Comment:

HYAR HAR!

T'night I thought I'd show ye all this poem I did fer a bit o' practise ^^

It's about th' time I spent playin' D&D as a young lad. After that I went on t' neverwinter nights and PC version and never really bothered with pen and paper anymore.

Excuse me though if 'Fist of Garandor' and 'Chain Fist' are actual attacks I don't know their damage rolls and just picked them since they sounded like real attacks and made th' poem flow.

Enjoy this bit o' fun lads and lasses ^^

Happy gamin' :3

P.S. If ye want t' make th' DM's lines funnier, try rappin' em in an Eric Cartman voice :3

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noorelven's avatar
hahahah nice :D
undead monk eh ? i'd be an elven healer priest .... totally squishy and yet throughout the campaign (or the part of it i played) i never died but the hardy characters all died ... several times :D