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Poetic Practice - Love Like Ash:

Yes sir, he is clinging to insanity.
He remembers all the things he said, profanity.
Bare the shame on his naked old humanity.
He is the doll claiming love for his vanity-

When he woke up, desire!
He made a move like fire.
His whispers; a liar,
His heart snaps, like wire!


But what are you thinking of this man as I make him out?
Is it an image or a type that you seem to tout.
was it all his fault with no one else to blame,
Or were there cracks in the story that they both will claim-

Spit that and live that,
Hate when you love that!
You rip that and tear that,
Scream like you know that!


Stop for a moment and just listen to this silent cry,
Time has stopped now for both of us to say goodbye.

Both turning on these clocks, living lies that have stopped;
And when the love turns to ash, let the gloves be dropped...

- Chen Yuan Wen, 17th January 2013
Arr maties,

Just doin' a bit o' practice today. Experimentin' with using slower long lines coupled with aggressive short interludes. Mostly I be testing out th' transitions between forms to make 'em more smooth ^^

The idea behind it is mostly about what happens when love turns t' ash (goes sour in case ye didn't get what I meant) and how we all think about th' things we've said and how the blame just goes back an' forth.

Inspired by the concept of turning back time, by: :iconoliviaotakusama101: in
Time turning...If days were sad,
I wish I could turn back time,

If days were happy,
I still wish I could turn back time,

So do I wish to turn time,
everyday?

And if... it were possible,
to turn back time,

I wouldn't be the person,
I am today.


-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconpeter-the-knotter:
Peter-The-Knotter Featured By Owner May 21, 2013  Student Artisan Crafter
"...Mostly I be...." isn't that song lyrics... er... verse... chorus... and repeat.... then ending of a short reprise/refrain...

sayonara song sprite... ;)
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:iconmiss-mafia:
Miss-Mafia Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Damn. I'm just going through your gallery and I'm in love with your writings. You have serious, serious talent.
*tips hat*
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Professional Writer
Still only sold 6 copies of my book though ^^; How sad is that, but oh well, I will never give up :3

-Captain Chen of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconmiss-mafia:
Miss-Mafia Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I can't even- how is that- No. e-e
That's not allowed. :I
Don't give up, ever.
Honestly if I had any money at all I'd totally jump on that. :'3

~ <3
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Professional Writer
Hehe I appreciate the thought, it's only $2 though. Get one if you can ^^

-Captain Chen of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconmiss-mafia:
Miss-Mafia Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'll beg my mom. c:
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Professional Writer
wh00 ^^

-Captain Chen of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconbullcross:
Bullcross Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Keep practicing; In this part: "When he... His heart snaps, like wire!" - the last line has one syllable too much, and it kills the rhythm;
The second short verse is waaay too unclear - on your last poem you wrote using dirty urban language so that the masses understood it, and now you turn the other way around. The same thing can be said about the first short verse - I am honestly confused and it makes no sense to me - it makes me ask myself : am I an idiot? Is this too deep and genious for me to understand ? I don't really think am I an idiot; I can't see symbolism in it, there is no imagery or a message.
I -think- I can conclude that the long lines lose the same about the long verses, but they are not my specialty, so I'll leave it with that.
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Professional Writer
I think that line just needs a comma removed. I'm rapping these verses so I'm not counting syllables, no matter how I say it, it still comes out alright.

I also don't think that this is too deep, but rather you seem to be overthinking it. It's rather obviously about divorce and two people falling out of love. Hence, their love turns to ash.

I think that way too many people try to look for something in poetry when it's not there, which is why symbolic poetry that is actually more meaningless can sometimes be recognised. I generally feel that sometimes we should just take a step back and enjoy something for the meaning that is displayed. You can take the words literally 'Love Like Ash' it means the Love is like Ash, therefore it must have been burned. To burn something is to destroy it, hence the inference is that Love has been destroyed.

Hope this made it all clearer =P

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconallsolit:
ALLsoLiT Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Professional Writer
not bad
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank ye kindly ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconkitzune-d-hitsugaya:
Kitzune-D-Hitsugaya Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I loved it, though I must say it felt like a small part of a bigger story. So I am to imagine the rest.
~3~
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Professional Writer
Hehe, that's the point, whatever else happened is for the reader to relate ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconkitzune-d-hitsugaya:
Kitzune-D-Hitsugaya Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Well it was grand <3
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:icontanoshiix3:
Tanoshiix3 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013
You know what's super weird.

As soon as I started reading this, I read it as a song O_O

I'd write it/play it/sing it but...

I'm on the other side of the artistic spectrum: I only paint and write LOL

Nice job! :D
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Professional Writer
Haha, it's fine, glad you enjoyed it ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:icontanoshiix3:
Tanoshiix3 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013
well maybe not write since it's already written xD
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:iconpsilent-p:
Psilent-P Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013
God, this is amazing.
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank ye kindly fer enjoyin' it :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconoliviaotakusama101:
oliviaotakusama101 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
///>_</// *blushes like mad* Y-Y-You... O-Ohhh!!! *doesn't know what to feel right now* When you said to look at your new submission, I was confused, then... Ohhhh!! (so you were being honest about liking it! actions do speak louder than words, and you wrote a whole poem!). You don't know how happy I feel right now!

Oh but its so cute, yet thought provoking at the same time, it actually makes me recall the sweet memories of the past. And it rhymes! (Such a kid) And you used my Sir! haha!
I don't know why, but i feel that i should be thanking you! (^_^)

Sigh, and your work will forever be better than mine... *smiles anyway*
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Professional Writer
*Hugs* It's fine, you did something that made me think and that's rare ^^

I'm truly glad you enjoyed it :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconangelgirlartist:
angelgirlartist Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I wonder how much my mom thinks about turning back time.....

Amazing piece.
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Professional Writer
Some people think about it all the time, like me ^^;

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:icon20tourniquet02:
20Tourniquet02 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013
Amazing!:clap:
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank ye fer enjoyin' it :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:icon20tourniquet02:
20Tourniquet02 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013
You're very welcome!:hug:
Reply
:iconmaniacalfreak:
ManiacalFreak Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Amazing! This was wonderfully written! The rhyming with every last word was perfect, without it seeming like you are looking for the perfect words, you seem to know what word to choose! (I have a problem with that in my own writing.)
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Professional Writer
Well unfortunately this was just practice, it's not good enough yet to be considered solid ^^;

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconof-the-skies:
of-the-skies Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Awesome poem! :D
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Professional Writer
Me thanks ^^ Glad ye liked it :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconsun-down14:
Sun-Down14 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013
Fantastic Sir.

When, I was reading this I couldn't help but rap it.
I was listening to Lacrae and he got me rapping everything.
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Professional Writer
My deepest thanks friend, I'm also in a rapping mood ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconsun-down14:
Sun-Down14 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013
It is a great mood to be in. Except I am not very good at it lol
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Professional Writer
Haha, you're more of a song type person, I'm more street in that regard I believe ^^

-Captain Chen of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconsun-down14:
Sun-Down14 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013
Aye, Sir.
I love doing Parkour tho. That is kinda Street hahahahahaha
Right? LOL
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Professional Writer
Indeed :3

-Captain Chen of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconsun-down14:
Sun-Down14 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013
Hahaha XD
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:iconthe-time-thief:
the-time-thief Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
"He is the doll claiming love for his vanity-"

Wonderful.
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconsnowywolf13:
snowywolf13 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
This is great! I love the concept and the rhyme scheme. I could hear the beat in my head while reading it, actually XD
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Professional Writer
There were two beats, but I'm working on the transition practice ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconsnowywolf13:
snowywolf13 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Nice! :)
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:iconchristineanne25:
ChristineAnne25 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Even though you heard this at least a thousand times before, I'm just gonna say it: I think this poem is amazing! :iconiloveitmoreplz:
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you for enjoying it :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconchristineanne25:
ChristineAnne25 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Welcome. :heart:
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:icondarlingangel0565:
DarlingAngel0565 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Professional Writer
I really like this Captain. Yet the same can be said for more than just love, basically for all types of relationships. The sad part is when it falls apart the blame game starts and no one wants to back down. It just keeps going and going until one person decides they had enough and finally walks away. It is truly sad when relationships end like that, what is lost when this happens are the happy times and moments they both shared.

Well sorry for the long comment. I really did like this allot ^^
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Professional Writer
Tis quite alright angel ^^ This was a piece I knew would resonate with a lot of people.

I'm glad ye liked it very much. Yer work has also been gaining recognition lately, I've seen it in the lit. pop categories. Make sure t' claim some bounties when ye have th' time ^^

Hopefully I'll be able to do a more solid piece on love in the future, one that's not just base practice ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconstarmic:
starmic Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013
amazing!!!!!!! im allways saying that but its just so amazingggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Professional Writer
Bwahaha, thank ye so kindly Ines ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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