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January 16, 2013
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Poetic Practice - Love Like Ash:

Yes sir, he is clinging to insanity.
He remembers all the things he said, profanity.
Bare the shame on his naked old humanity.
He is the doll claiming love for his vanity-

When he woke up, desire!
He made a move like fire.
His whispers; a liar,
His heart snaps, like wire!


But what are you thinking of this man as I make him out?
Is it an image or a type that you seem to tout.
was it all his fault with no one else to blame,
Or were there cracks in the story that they both will claim-

Spit that and live that,
Hate when you love that!
You rip that and tear that,
Scream like you know that!


Stop for a moment and just listen to this silent cry,
Time has stopped now for both of us to say goodbye.

Both turning on these clocks, living lies that have stopped;
And when the love turns to ash, let the gloves be dropped...

- Chen Yuan Wen, 17th January 2013
Arr maties,

Just doin' a bit o' practice today. Experimentin' with using slower long lines coupled with aggressive short interludes. Mostly I be testing out th' transitions between forms to make 'em more smooth ^^

The idea behind it is mostly about what happens when love turns t' ash (goes sour in case ye didn't get what I meant) and how we all think about th' things we've said and how the blame just goes back an' forth.

Inspired by the concept of turning back time, by: :iconoliviaotakusama101: in
Time turning...If days were sad,
I wish I could turn back time,

If days were happy,
I still wish I could turn back time,

So do I wish to turn time,
everyday?

And if... it were possible,
to turn back time,

I wouldn't be the person,
I am today.


-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconpeter-the-knotter:
Peter-The-Knotter Featured By Owner May 21, 2013  Student Artisan Crafter
"...Mostly I be...." isn't that song lyrics... er... verse... chorus... and repeat.... then ending of a short reprise/refrain...

sayonara song sprite... ;)
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:iconmiss-mafia:
Miss-Mafia Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Damn. I'm just going through your gallery and I'm in love with your writings. You have serious, serious talent.
*tips hat*
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Professional Writer
Still only sold 6 copies of my book though ^^; How sad is that, but oh well, I will never give up :3

-Captain Chen of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconmiss-mafia:
Miss-Mafia Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I can't even- how is that- No. e-e
That's not allowed. :I
Don't give up, ever.
Honestly if I had any money at all I'd totally jump on that. :'3

~ <3
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Professional Writer
Hehe I appreciate the thought, it's only $2 though. Get one if you can ^^

-Captain Chen of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconmiss-mafia:
Miss-Mafia Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'll beg my mom. c:
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Professional Writer
wh00 ^^

-Captain Chen of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconbullcross:
Bullcross Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Keep practicing; In this part: "When he... His heart snaps, like wire!" - the last line has one syllable too much, and it kills the rhythm;
The second short verse is waaay too unclear - on your last poem you wrote using dirty urban language so that the masses understood it, and now you turn the other way around. The same thing can be said about the first short verse - I am honestly confused and it makes no sense to me - it makes me ask myself : am I an idiot? Is this too deep and genious for me to understand ? I don't really think am I an idiot; I can't see symbolism in it, there is no imagery or a message.
I -think- I can conclude that the long lines lose the same about the long verses, but they are not my specialty, so I'll leave it with that.
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Professional Writer
I think that line just needs a comma removed. I'm rapping these verses so I'm not counting syllables, no matter how I say it, it still comes out alright.

I also don't think that this is too deep, but rather you seem to be overthinking it. It's rather obviously about divorce and two people falling out of love. Hence, their love turns to ash.

I think that way too many people try to look for something in poetry when it's not there, which is why symbolic poetry that is actually more meaningless can sometimes be recognised. I generally feel that sometimes we should just take a step back and enjoy something for the meaning that is displayed. You can take the words literally 'Love Like Ash' it means the Love is like Ash, therefore it must have been burned. To burn something is to destroy it, hence the inference is that Love has been destroyed.

Hope this made it all clearer =P

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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