Poetic Practice - Love Like Ash:
Yes sir, he is clinging to insanity.
He remembers all the things he said, profanity.
Bare the shame on his naked old humanity.
He is the doll claiming love for his vanity-
When he woke up, desire!
He made a move like fire.
His whispers; a liar,
His heart snaps, like wire!
But what are you thinking of this man as I make him out?
Is it an image or a type that you seem to tout.
was it all his fault with no one else to blame,
Or were there cracks in the story that they both will claim-
Spit that and live that,
Hate when you love that!
You rip that and tear that,
Scream like you know that!
Stop for a moment and just listen to this silent cry,
Time has stopped now for both of us to say goodbye.
Both turning on these clocks, living lies that have stopped;
And when the love turns to ash, let the gloves be dropped...
- Chen Yuan Wen, 17th January 2013
sayonara song sprite...
*tips hat*
-Captain Chen of the Black Fedora Pirates
That's not allowed. :I
Don't give up, ever.
Honestly if I had any money at all I'd totally jump on that. :'3
~ <3
-Captain Chen of the Black Fedora Pirates
-Captain Chen of the Black Fedora Pirates
The second short verse is waaay too unclear - on your last poem you wrote using dirty urban language so that the masses understood it, and now you turn the other way around. The same thing can be said about the first short verse - I am honestly confused and it makes no sense to me - it makes me ask myself : am I an idiot? Is this too deep and genious for me to understand ? I don't really think am I an idiot; I can't see symbolism in it, there is no imagery or a message.
I -think- I can conclude that the long lines lose the same about the long verses, but they are not my specialty, so I'll leave it with that.
I also don't think that this is too deep, but rather you seem to be overthinking it. It's rather obviously about divorce and two people falling out of love. Hence, their love turns to ash.
I think that way too many people try to look for something in poetry when it's not there, which is why symbolic poetry that is actually more meaningless can sometimes be recognised. I generally feel that sometimes we should just take a step back and enjoy something for the meaning that is displayed. You can take the words literally 'Love Like Ash' it means the Love is like Ash, therefore it must have been burned. To burn something is to destroy it, hence the inference is that Love has been destroyed.
Hope this made it all clearer
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates