literature

Painted Skin

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Literature Text

Painted Skin:

He smiles at you, as you enter the office;
Wearing eyeliner made of contempt and disdain.
His cheap cologne invades your nostrils immediately
And you quickly suppress a cough.

"Yes, yes, indeed we have to review this...er, many things are involved."

His face is powdered with a layer of self-importance;
Lips reddened by the polite harshness he spews.
His forked tongue flickers as he prattles on
And you're really getting quite tired.

"Oh I'm sorry! Of course, of course I understand; but my way is much better!"

You're getting really bored now, so you take a look around the room.
The expectation is to see it bedecked with acolades;
Yet bare walls, cold and empty, are all that greets you.

"Are you listening to me, I'm telling you why this isn't good enough. LISTEN TO ME!"

You take a look at the cup of coffee you were offered,
Cheap and lukewarm; you narrow your eyes.

"Is there a problem? I'm being honest, this is for YOUR OWN GOOD!"

Funny, you seemed to be talking about yourself the whole time...

You take the lid off the cup and smile,
Seeing your own reflection looking so harried; you chuckle...

"YOU! HOW DARE YOU THROW THIS IN MY FACE, DON'T YOU KNOW I'M-"

Shut up...

You close the door to the office and walk out, hands in your pockets.
Looking up at the sky you feel calm and maybe a tad inspired.

Well then, what kind of story should I write today?





-Chen Yuan Wen, 10th January 2013
If you liked my work don't forget to click that favourite button at the top :star: (^_^)/ Thank you

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My Gallery: [link]

Author's Comment:

Alright guys,

First up no pirate accent today, just because I want to talk in my normal voice for a little while.

The main issue that prompted me to write this was a particular critic who came by a couple of days ago. Now, I'm no stranger to receiving criticism; I get plenty. However most of you also know that I also don't accept critiques that deliver a low rating based on subjective reasons. This was covered in my deviation "The Good Critic's Guide", which can be found here: [link]

The problem that I had a few days ago though was this guy that came in with an officious attitude and of course I could see where he was coming from. So I checked up on his page to get a little background and then once I'd confirmed what I thought about him, I marked it unfair and sent him a polite reply explaining why I did not accept it.

So the dude gets angry and goes into the usual rant about me not being able to handle honesty blah di blah blah *insert pewdiepie voice* YOOOU DISGRAAACE and the worst thing is that despite claiming to be a 'professonal' and 'commercial' author; he starts swearing at me =_=.

EVEN more dishonourable than that was the fact that he doesn't give me a chance to reply. He just swears at me and then blocks me LOL. At this point I was thinking, dude grow a pair between your legs because that move just made you look like a eunuch. *Captain Jack Sparrow voice* "You're not a eunuch are you?"

Anyway, the point that I'm trying to make is this:

Be mature when an artist responds to your critique, especially if you tout the value: "Everyone has a right to an opinion". We are allowed to mark things as unfair and I personally leave the public to judge since it is available for viewing on BOTH our pages. The fact that you want me to accept honesty, but immediately go off at me when I reject your critique, is what really makes you look bad.

Doing a critique does not give you some kind of divine protection or right to spew nonsense. I'm the kind of guy that only practices what he preaches so if you preach something to me, then please cite examples (in your own work) where something has been proven to work. If you don't practice what you preach, then how are you any different from a lying politician? Telling me to do one thing while you do another. That's bad leadership right there.

Artists do check on the background of a critique and if we think you're pulling the wool on us, we will tell you off. I'm one of the politer artists in that respect because I fire warning shots (i.e. I will try to explain things to you first), if you continue to act in a belligerent manner afterward I have no qualms about naming and shaming you, because the lit. community doesn't need those sorts of critiques trying to put down people who are all rising up in their own way.

Remember, just because something doesn't gel with you, doesn't mean it's bad, we've all got our own style ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:

P.S. If ya'll wanna support your boy then don't forget to buy my book, it's only $1.99 just a little more expensive than a can of soda people :3

If you really like me lots and want to show some epic support (other than just purchasing a book), following this link and read the journal (^_^)V >[link]<
© 2013 - 2024 WordOfChen
Comments105
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LivingOnAir's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

1. Originality
I do believe that this piece is quite unlike anything I have ever read; I am most pleased that you bolded the word that the man was speaking, a nice touch separating lines and adding impact to the story. A story that you sir told beautifully. I thought the general theme was original.
2 Technique
You did italics when the "you" were speaking which is nice, it makes what that person is saying seem like they are in a far off world. Or maybe that was just your part about the coffee. The metaphors were shockingly fantastic (I only say shockingly because at I immediately knew what type of person he was.
The Ending
the ending was very interesting, unexpected to say the least, and i enjoyed it.
Sincerely,
M.