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Literature Text
Painted Skin:
He smiles at you, as you enter the office;
Wearing eyeliner made of contempt and disdain.
His cheap cologne invades your nostrils immediately
And you quickly suppress a cough.
"Yes, yes, indeed we have to review this...er, many things are involved."
His face is powdered with a layer of self-importance;
Lips reddened by the polite harshness he spews.
His forked tongue flickers as he prattles on
And you're really getting quite tired.
"Oh I'm sorry! Of course, of course I understand; but my way is much better!"
You're getting really bored now, so you take a look around the room.
The expectation is to see it bedecked with acolades;
Yet bare walls, cold and empty, are all that greets you.
"Are you listening to me, I'm telling you why this isn't good enough. LISTEN TO ME!"
You take a look at the cup of coffee you were offered,
Cheap and lukewarm; you narrow your eyes.
"Is there a problem? I'm being honest, this is for YOUR OWN GOOD!"
Funny, you seemed to be talking about yourself the whole time...
You take the lid off the cup and smile,
Seeing your own reflection looking so harried; you chuckle...
"YOU! HOW DARE YOU THROW THIS IN MY FACE, DON'T YOU KNOW I'M-"
Shut up...
You close the door to the office and walk out, hands in your pockets.
Looking up at the sky you feel calm and maybe a tad inspired.
Well then, what kind of story should I write today?
-Chen Yuan Wen, 10th January 2013
He smiles at you, as you enter the office;
Wearing eyeliner made of contempt and disdain.
His cheap cologne invades your nostrils immediately
And you quickly suppress a cough.
"Yes, yes, indeed we have to review this...er, many things are involved."
His face is powdered with a layer of self-importance;
Lips reddened by the polite harshness he spews.
His forked tongue flickers as he prattles on
And you're really getting quite tired.
"Oh I'm sorry! Of course, of course I understand; but my way is much better!"
You're getting really bored now, so you take a look around the room.
The expectation is to see it bedecked with acolades;
Yet bare walls, cold and empty, are all that greets you.
"Are you listening to me, I'm telling you why this isn't good enough. LISTEN TO ME!"
You take a look at the cup of coffee you were offered,
Cheap and lukewarm; you narrow your eyes.
"Is there a problem? I'm being honest, this is for YOUR OWN GOOD!"
Funny, you seemed to be talking about yourself the whole time...
You take the lid off the cup and smile,
Seeing your own reflection looking so harried; you chuckle...
"YOU! HOW DARE YOU THROW THIS IN MY FACE, DON'T YOU KNOW I'M-"
Shut up...
You close the door to the office and walk out, hands in your pockets.
Looking up at the sky you feel calm and maybe a tad inspired.
Well then, what kind of story should I write today?
-Chen Yuan Wen, 10th January 2013
Literature
When I Was 13
I am just a little boy in a grown man’s shell
Who finds himself lost in a daydream
That my mind manifested one Monday morning
On the cusp of being aged thirteen
Sitting on a plastic chair in a stale classroom
Looking out of the rain lashed window
Thoughts turn to the length of my imagination
And indeed what distance it could go
I was snapped back to reality as always
With my tank topped teacher's booming cry
This was not the first, nor would it be the last time
I would find myself preoccupied
Classmates around me may live their life linear
Like most people who have gone before
But I can’t see the point of a mind’s vast la
Literature
The Little Girl Blinked
The little girl blinked and he was gone
Unsure if he was ever really there
But she knew that something had inspired her
To do things she wouldn’t normally dare
A teardrop too many he once told her
Had brought him from the shadows of her mind
As those around her began to wander
Across her imagination's fine line
But now he seemed to have walked away
As she found the life she had long sought
He slowly drifted back to the shadows
From her notebook and her beautiful thoughts
And the fools around her carried the spades
Burying him with her imagination
With an epitaph etched on a tombstone
‘Here lies my potential for creation’
Literature
Fads and Trends
Whatever makes them popular today
Will be the death of them tomorrow
With looks like that they can say anything
And their insecure flock will follow
Run for your life, break away from the flock
Grow a back bone and do your own thing
Fear not for the adverse consequences
Living a lie brings much more suffering
What these people consider ‘scene’ today
Will of course not be seen tomorrow
Image is just a temporary façade
And yet these blind fools seem to follow
Run for your life, break away from the flock
And sing only from your own hymm sheet
Form your own ideas and opinions
Don’t recite someone else’s beliefs
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Author's Comment:
Alright guys,
First up no pirate accent today, just because I want to talk in my normal voice for a little while.
The main issue that prompted me to write this was a particular critic who came by a couple of days ago. Now, I'm no stranger to receiving criticism; I get plenty. However most of you also know that I also don't accept critiques that deliver a low rating based on subjective reasons. This was covered in my deviation "The Good Critic's Guide", which can be found here: [link]
The problem that I had a few days ago though was this guy that came in with an officious attitude and of course I could see where he was coming from. So I checked up on his page to get a little background and then once I'd confirmed what I thought about him, I marked it unfair and sent him a polite reply explaining why I did not accept it.
So the dude gets angry and goes into the usual rant about me not being able to handle honesty blah di blah blah *insert pewdiepie voice* YOOOU DISGRAAACE and the worst thing is that despite claiming to be a 'professonal' and 'commercial' author; he starts swearing at me =_=.
EVEN more dishonourable than that was the fact that he doesn't give me a chance to reply. He just swears at me and then blocks me LOL. At this point I was thinking, dude grow a pair between your legs because that move just made you look like a eunuch. *Captain Jack Sparrow voice* "You're not a eunuch are you?"
Anyway, the point that I'm trying to make is this:
Be mature when an artist responds to your critique, especially if you tout the value: "Everyone has a right to an opinion". We are allowed to mark things as unfair and I personally leave the public to judge since it is available for viewing on BOTH our pages. The fact that you want me to accept honesty, but immediately go off at me when I reject your critique, is what really makes you look bad.
Doing a critique does not give you some kind of divine protection or right to spew nonsense. I'm the kind of guy that only practices what he preaches so if you preach something to me, then please cite examples (in your own work) where something has been proven to work. If you don't practice what you preach, then how are you any different from a lying politician? Telling me to do one thing while you do another. That's bad leadership right there.
Artists do check on the background of a critique and if we think you're pulling the wool on us, we will tell you off. I'm one of the politer artists in that respect because I fire warning shots (i.e. I will try to explain things to you first), if you continue to act in a belligerent manner afterward I have no qualms about naming and shaming you, because the lit. community doesn't need those sorts of critiques trying to put down people who are all rising up in their own way.
Remember, just because something doesn't gel with you, doesn't mean it's bad, we've all got our own style ^^
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
P.S. If ya'll wanna support your boy then don't forget to buy my book, it's only $1.99 just a little more expensive than a can of soda people :3
If you really like me lots and want to show some epic support (other than just purchasing a book), following this link and read the journal (^_^)V >[link]<
If you'd like to support my artwork and you have some spare change. Please take a look at my new e-book:
Other Important Links:
My Facebook Page: [link]
Youtube Channel: [link]
My Gallery: [link]
Author's Comment:
Alright guys,
First up no pirate accent today, just because I want to talk in my normal voice for a little while.
The main issue that prompted me to write this was a particular critic who came by a couple of days ago. Now, I'm no stranger to receiving criticism; I get plenty. However most of you also know that I also don't accept critiques that deliver a low rating based on subjective reasons. This was covered in my deviation "The Good Critic's Guide", which can be found here: [link]
The problem that I had a few days ago though was this guy that came in with an officious attitude and of course I could see where he was coming from. So I checked up on his page to get a little background and then once I'd confirmed what I thought about him, I marked it unfair and sent him a polite reply explaining why I did not accept it.
So the dude gets angry and goes into the usual rant about me not being able to handle honesty blah di blah blah *insert pewdiepie voice* YOOOU DISGRAAACE and the worst thing is that despite claiming to be a 'professonal' and 'commercial' author; he starts swearing at me =_=.
EVEN more dishonourable than that was the fact that he doesn't give me a chance to reply. He just swears at me and then blocks me LOL. At this point I was thinking, dude grow a pair between your legs because that move just made you look like a eunuch. *Captain Jack Sparrow voice* "You're not a eunuch are you?"
Anyway, the point that I'm trying to make is this:
Be mature when an artist responds to your critique, especially if you tout the value: "Everyone has a right to an opinion". We are allowed to mark things as unfair and I personally leave the public to judge since it is available for viewing on BOTH our pages. The fact that you want me to accept honesty, but immediately go off at me when I reject your critique, is what really makes you look bad.
Doing a critique does not give you some kind of divine protection or right to spew nonsense. I'm the kind of guy that only practices what he preaches so if you preach something to me, then please cite examples (in your own work) where something has been proven to work. If you don't practice what you preach, then how are you any different from a lying politician? Telling me to do one thing while you do another. That's bad leadership right there.
Artists do check on the background of a critique and if we think you're pulling the wool on us, we will tell you off. I'm one of the politer artists in that respect because I fire warning shots (i.e. I will try to explain things to you first), if you continue to act in a belligerent manner afterward I have no qualms about naming and shaming you, because the lit. community doesn't need those sorts of critiques trying to put down people who are all rising up in their own way.
Remember, just because something doesn't gel with you, doesn't mean it's bad, we've all got our own style ^^
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
P.S. If ya'll wanna support your boy then don't forget to buy my book, it's only $1.99 just a little more expensive than a can of soda people :3
If you really like me lots and want to show some epic support (other than just purchasing a book), following this link and read the journal (^_^)V >[link]<
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Comments105
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Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
1. Originality
I do believe that this piece is quite unlike anything I have ever read; I am most pleased that you bolded the word that the man was speaking, a nice touch separating lines and adding impact to the story. A story that you sir told beautifully. I thought the general theme was original.
2 Technique
You did italics when the "you" were speaking which is nice, it makes what that person is saying seem like they are in a far off world. Or maybe that was just your part about the coffee. The metaphors were shockingly fantastic (I only say shockingly because at I immediately knew what type of person he was.
The Ending
the ending was very interesting, unexpected to say the least, and i enjoyed it.
Sincerely,
M.