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January 10, 2013
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Painted Skin:

He smiles at you, as you enter the office;
Wearing eyeliner made of contempt and disdain.
His cheap cologne invades your nostrils immediately
And you quickly suppress a cough.

"Yes, yes, indeed we have to review this...er, many things are involved."

His face is powdered with a layer of self-importance;
Lips reddened by the polite harshness he spews.
His forked tongue flickers as he prattles on
And you're really getting quite tired.

"Oh I'm sorry! Of course, of course I understand; but my way is much better!"

You're getting really bored now, so you take a look around the room.
The expectation is to see it bedecked with acolades;
Yet bare walls, cold and empty, are all that greets you.

"Are you listening to me, I'm telling you why this isn't good enough. LISTEN TO ME!"

You take a look at the cup of coffee you were offered,
Cheap and lukewarm; you narrow your eyes.

"Is there a problem? I'm being honest, this is for YOUR OWN GOOD!"

Funny, you seemed to be talking about yourself the whole time...

You take the lid off the cup and smile,
Seeing your own reflection looking so harried; you chuckle...

"YOU! HOW DARE YOU THROW THIS IN MY FACE, DON'T YOU KNOW I'M-"

Shut up...

You close the door to the office and walk out, hands in your pockets.
Looking up at the sky you feel calm and maybe a tad inspired.

Well then, what kind of story should I write today?





-Chen Yuan Wen, 10th January 2013
If you liked my work don't forget to click that favourite button at the top :star: (^_^)/ Thank you

If you'd like to support my artwork and you have some spare change. Please take a look at my new e-book:



Other Important Links:

My Facebook Page: [link]
Youtube Channel: [link]
My Gallery: [link]

Author's Comment:

Alright guys,

First up no pirate accent today, just because I want to talk in my normal voice for a little while.

The main issue that prompted me to write this was a particular critic who came by a couple of days ago. Now, I'm no stranger to receiving criticism; I get plenty. However most of you also know that I also don't accept critiques that deliver a low rating based on subjective reasons. This was covered in my deviation "The Good Critic's Guide", which can be found here: [link]

The problem that I had a few days ago though was this guy that came in with an officious attitude and of course I could see where he was coming from. So I checked up on his page to get a little background and then once I'd confirmed what I thought about him, I marked it unfair and sent him a polite reply explaining why I did not accept it.

So the dude gets angry and goes into the usual rant about me not being able to handle honesty blah di blah blah *insert pewdiepie voice* YOOOU DISGRAAACE and the worst thing is that despite claiming to be a 'professonal' and 'commercial' author; he starts swearing at me =_=.

EVEN more dishonourable than that was the fact that he doesn't give me a chance to reply. He just swears at me and then blocks me LOL. At this point I was thinking, dude grow a pair between your legs because that move just made you look like a eunuch. *Captain Jack Sparrow voice* "You're not a eunuch are you?"

Anyway, the point that I'm trying to make is this:

Be mature when an artist responds to your critique, especially if you tout the value: "Everyone has a right to an opinion". We are allowed to mark things as unfair and I personally leave the public to judge since it is available for viewing on BOTH our pages. The fact that you want me to accept honesty, but immediately go off at me when I reject your critique, is what really makes you look bad.

Doing a critique does not give you some kind of divine protection or right to spew nonsense. I'm the kind of guy that only practices what he preaches so if you preach something to me, then please cite examples (in your own work) where something has been proven to work. If you don't practice what you preach, then how are you any different from a lying politician? Telling me to do one thing while you do another. That's bad leadership right there.

Artists do check on the background of a critique and if we think you're pulling the wool on us, we will tell you off. I'm one of the politer artists in that respect because I fire warning shots (i.e. I will try to explain things to you first), if you continue to act in a belligerent manner afterward I have no qualms about naming and shaming you, because the lit. community doesn't need those sorts of critiques trying to put down people who are all rising up in their own way.

Remember, just because something doesn't gel with you, doesn't mean it's bad, we've all got our own style ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:

P.S. If ya'll wanna support your boy then don't forget to buy my book, it's only $1.99 just a little more expensive than a can of soda people :3

If you really like me lots and want to show some epic support (other than just purchasing a book), following this link and read the journal (^_^)V >[link]<
Add a Comment:
 
:icontearsofblood22:
Critique by TearsOfBlood22 Jan 10, 2013, 8:20:19 AM
Very good very good you should write more stories like this.

My Opinion on this is that it is very awe inspiring and moving.

It shows many different emotions and can dipect the feeling of indifference.

This story should be published and read time and time again.

you truly have a way with words and can twist them to make the readers feel what ever you want them to feel, very well written.

Please keep up on your writing and perhaps even take up a career in literature, it could help you later.

as I've said very good job keep it up.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
28 out of 29 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconshadowyeclipse:
It's a nice small little piece that was an amusing read that just made me remember why I hate most publishers.

The imagery is exceptionally vivid, and the dialogue of the man helps you consider what the main character had probably done in response, though it is not explicitly written so in the story. You can easily tell that the character is bored and holds the man in the same contempt that the man holds for the character, and it didn't need to be written that the character clearly threw the manuscript, it was expressed well enough by the furious dialogue.

I also enjoyed the descriptions of the man himself, describing him in the most devilish, almost inhuman way possible, immediately turning him into a disliked character if it wasn't for his own actions and dialogue.

The main problem lies with how the piece ends. I thought it could have ended on a more punchy note, changed pace in a way now that the character was out of the dull influence the man provided. To me, the ending just feels... awkward, as well as some of the character's own thoughts.


In the end, it's far from the absolute best I've read, and has a few things that I don't really like about it, but the rhythm and the implication behind most of the descriptions are done really well. Just for me, the impact wasn't as strong due to the ending.

I'll be looking at this writer's other works, however. I really enjoy the style.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:iconpassionatepremise:
passionatepremise Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Student General Artist
<3 I understand that everyone has the right to freedom of speech - but really, what you say is completely true.
(I'm currently learning more about Human Rights in Legal Studies).
*shakes head* It's rather much of a disgrace to see someone acting so obscene...shall I say, when faced with criticism in the face of it. Your works are brilliant, and I digress - I see no reason why people should treat you unfairly.
You're a wonderful person, in that you explain to people why you critic them, and perhaps why you do not appreciate their critic. Or even, just to answer them if they're being a tad unfair. Frankly, I'm not even quite sure as to what I'm saying right now, as Poets of the Fall are being blasted into the recesses of my ear drums, but never mind that.

I see no reason why they should dislike your work - and why they are being naive, (and swearing at you, no less).
... People these days...
*sighs* <3
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013  Professional Writer
Agreed, that is how people are, but it's all quite fine. Such is the game of life and it remains quite a fun one at that :3

-Captain Chen of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconpassionatepremise:
passionatepremise Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Student General Artist
:nod:
Ah, the game of life.
How we loathe it - but how we are also bound by its rules and regulations, no?
If things didn't exist, surely the game would be much easier - but it's just awesome like that, as difficult as it is. :XD:
Reply
:iconrenosgirl77:
RenosGirl77 Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hah hah, fantastic!! XD I don't think I've ever read anything quite like this. Put simply: you are a genius, my friend. Keep up the awesomesauce work!! XD
Reply
:iconperianth5:
Perianth5 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Student General Artist
This is very good.
We all meet people like him in our lifetimes. The best thing to do is realise that they are just jealous.
Reply
:iconstrawberryvertigo:
StrawberryVertigo Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013
Oh and also to add the guy in the poem sounds like a genuine self absorbed assholian
Reply
:iconstrawberryvertigo:
StrawberryVertigo Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013
This kind of reminds me of an old story I wrote about a supervisor and an employee, its not perfect and its short but I felt like I wanted to write more about the two.[link]
Reply
:iconblackreddragon7:
BlackRedDragon7 Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Can't really say much except this is amazing... Do you think it'd be alright if I studied your works to try and find inspiration and some sort of style related or branched from your own? I really am not skilled in the poetry department ^^;
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Professional Writer
Yer most welcome t' do that. I'm doing th' same meself. right now I've gone back t' basics in rapping t' try and see what it might yield me ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconsuperchefnick:
SUPERCHEFNICK Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Nice piece you have here, it made me laugh at the end :D
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank ye fer enjoyin' it ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconsuperchefnick:
SUPERCHEFNICK Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Of course, keep up the good work :)
Reply
:iconmath-mage:
Math-Mage Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
Shrug. I sympathize with your frustration over bad critics, but you lost me with the comments about lying politicians and practicing what you preach. I think hypocrisy is a regular part of human life, because we give advice based on both our failings and our unrealized goals. 'Don't do what I did.' 'Do as I say, not as I do.' 'Do this because I wish I had the courage to do it myself.' We are better at recognizing failures in others than in ourselves, and we are better at recognizing our failures than fixing them. How can we *not* be hypocrites?

Solid poem, though.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Professional Writer
Depends on your point of view. I suppose it comes down to the individual. I personally strive to never be hypocritical and even if I do fail I try to repair that.

Personally I believe that we can share advice based on what we've done rather than what we think others should do. It might just be my personal feeling on the matter seeing as I am cautious about giving out misinformation (as it is an offence which you can be sued for).

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:icongeorge551:
George551 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013
Okay, I have to admit this isn't your best work in my opinion. It's not really any major defects, just when compared to other stuff in your gallery this doesn't really shine. However upon reading the author's comments I see why you wrote this and I do totally empathise with you on your position. I have come across many trolls and just general bastard on the internet. Only one did I not actually make up with in the end. You must come across them all the time though I suppose. Also, I intend to buy your book.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Professional Writer
Welcome back George and o' course I don't write hits all th' time, don't forget even in a song album not every single one is awesome right?

So just take it as a part of the creative process ^^ A hit will come out sooner or later :3

Welcome back though ^^ and thank ye fer buyin' me book if and when ye do :3 Don't ferget t' rate and review OuO

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:icongeorge551:
George551 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013
Oh yeah I wasn't saying your talent has diminished, I know not everyone can be perfect all the time, and your last poem was great so don't worry about it.

Yeah, I intend to get it by the end of the day, hopefully
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Professional Writer
Nah I wasn't bothered about that, merely explaining that I don't or rather can't xD

If I could I'd be...some kind o' mutated super human. I mean can ye imagine someone who could write a hit every time. he'd have job offers out th' ears I reckon xD

Anyway take yer time ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:icongeorge551:
George551 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013
You'd be like a super hero...writing you enemies to death...you know it doesn't sound quote so good in writing as it did in my head...
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Professional Writer
Puhahaha, well I did end up laughin' xD That sort o' man would be a true god. Sadly we're all 100% far from that. Sometimes I do actually write things that aren't of quality, but usually when I do they're specially marketed to a particular audience. Anywho I've got t' go t' a business dinner. I'll be back t'night with a stunnin' epic

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:icongeorge551:
George551 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013
oooooo, I'll be looking forward to the epic :)
Reply
:iconmsbiffy:
MsBiffy Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013
There seems to be controversy about this piece of literature, including some people taking the critic's side. In my opinion, controversy is good because it means that you are expressing yourself without regard of what people are going to think of you. I commend you here for this and for creating such a great poem! :D
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Professional Writer
Exactly, tis th' fun part ain't it ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:icontuckerscreator:
Tuckerscreator Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013
Sorry to nitpick, but it's "suppress", not "supress".
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Professional Writer
Me apoloiges fer th' typo, it be fixed ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconwei-en:
wei-en Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013
A good point made with great execution.

Use of the coffee-in-face cliche had medium-low impact, though.

I would write a critique but I don't have anything useful to say other than that ._.

Your book is a wee bit cheaper than a can of soda hahaha
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Professional Writer
Well matie, did ye realise that I never actually said anywhere that he threw the coffee in his face? It was merely implied.

Another deviant acually interpreted it as th' manuscript bein' thrown at the fellah. I left it open ended in that sense because what is thrown becomes a reflection of the reader's mind. If ye thought of coffee first, then ye've seen plenty of it and yer thinkin' in th' box. If ye imagine somethin' else then yer really thinkin' out the box. Interestin' ain't it? :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconjakejynx:
JakeJynx Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
And try to remember that it's foolish to assume that because you don't see submissions on a person's page that are "better" than your own, that their words have no merit. Take critique for what it is, rather than dismissing it because of what is reflected in a person's gallery.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Professional Writer
I think that you're misinterpreting this. By practice what you preach I believe that a person should show the same technique within their own style. Otherwise on what basis are they giving you the advice? Is it something pulled from the air, untested and unchecked?

In science, such a statement would be invalidated by its very nature. Why should the same principle not hold for art?

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconjakejynx:
JakeJynx Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
Because science is the study of observable fact. Art is about interpretation. My point wasn't necessarily that, though. My account on DA that I'm using right now has one very mediocre poem in it. The rest is my craft work. If I had critiqued your work, chances are you'd have found my critique unfair because nothing in my gallery reflects the fact that I do also write. I've had plenty of visual artists attack my words by saying that I have nothing in my gallery to reflect that I'm a "better" artist than them, so obviously I can't possibly know what I'm talking about (I use another account for my art). I've always said that you don't have to be a chef to know you're being fed a plate of feces.

And by your very statement here, only those who have observable mastery of a particular style are able to critique that style? There are plenty of professional critics who do not practice what they preach. Do you deny their words, simply because they don't prove themselves to you first?

It's a common thing to do, to devalue someone's words because they're not better than you, but it's something you should really try to keep in check. Otherwise you will limit yourself in more areas than just writing.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Professional Writer
Well, let me put it this way. A professional (even if using a different account) should show their current level and explain why they think such and such about a piece.

In the author's comment you'll notice that I said a critic has to be mature about getting the artist's response.

If you write an unfavourable critique and get marked as unfair and told off, the critic should accept that as well since it is a natural reaction. That would prove that he is being mature. Unfortunately the critic I was talking about in this poem failed to prove that he is anyone remotely close to being a professional.

As for my statement. I do not devalue someone's words if they are not better than me, quite the opposite my DA is very inclusive instead. HOWEVER, I place no value in those who write officious, stand-offish type critiques where they are keen on tearing your work apart but are unable to prove it themselves. If a critic wishes to write such things, they had best show themselves to be greater than the one they are tearing apart else there is no value in their words.

And furthermore, even IF they were better than the one being torn apart; a true professional would not tear someone else apart. Public relations is a huge part of art and for that reason I see no reason to act in an antagonistic manner, unless of course you want to come off as the villain in the story =P

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconjakejynx:
JakeJynx Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
Been forever since this comment, sorry. But I would be interested in reading the piece this person commented on, and their critique of it, if it's available. Just for curiosity's sake.

Either way, good luck with your writing in the future.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Professional Writer
Sorry but I've already forgotten who it was ^^; It should have been a couple of pieces before 'Painted Skin' probably 3 - 4 pieces before :3

-Captain Chen of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconjakejynx:
JakeJynx Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
"Yet bare walls, cold and empty, is all that greets you."

That should be "bare walls ARE all that greet you."
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you it was a minor error and has been fixed ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconsmokedragon:
smokedragon Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
Muahaha. I love this. Reminds me of what I think of during every medical billing office meeting I've ever had. OH, I need this documentation? For the last two years? I have to have made this much money to qualify for this? Shall I do a backflip, in a pink tutu, with a chef's knife in my mouth? Pah! Brilliant work here again, brilliant.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Professional Writer
Aye aye, I understand that feelin' perfectly, sounds like me a nd insurance really xD

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconrelic-angel:
Relic-Angel Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
BRING ON THE MULTICOLORED GOO! :heart:

I think we should all represent ourselves how we are on the net, not just in reality. R-E-S-P-E-C-T people! :)
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Professional Writer
Aye :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconrelic-angel:
Relic-Angel Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:D
Reply
:iconjess-sesj95:
jess-sesj95 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Student Photographer
Great use of second person :) I don't generally critique (although I have had the education for it), but only because I believe that I can only truly give an opinion as a reader; the audience. ^_^
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Professional Writer
I believe th' same, hence why I don't do that either except by request xD

After all we're all just din' our own thing and tryin' t' make it in our own way :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconjess-sesj95:
jess-sesj95 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Student Photographer
At least requests are flattering ;)
Exactly, with our own little thoughts and opinions thrown into the mix :D
Reply
:iconfrumpysnuffleupigus:
frumpysnuffleupigus Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This, like usual, is another AMAZING poem! *insert I-am-jelly face here* I always enjoy reading your poems :)
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Professional Writer
I'm glad ye do, hopefully t'night's will be a right shocker :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconfrumpysnuffleupigus:
frumpysnuffleupigus Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Im sure it will be ^U^
Reply
:iconsilent-intrigant:
Silent-Intrigant Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Very well written, Captain!

I'm very sorry about that self-proclaimed pro critic. I've always thought that you were a very nice guy.

Oh well, some people just have a frozen heart, eh Captain?
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Professional Writer
Aye, tis th' way o' people really. Oh well, can't be helped eh? ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconsilent-intrigant:
Silent-Intrigant Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Indeed, Captain. Nothing can be done about them! ^_^
Reply
:iconhanafa732:
HanaFa732 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm not a critic so I'll keep this short. I like how you made a metaphor of the cosmetics. The conversation was a little confusing at first, but that is only because I need to know about the background of the story. I think the ending was pretty comical for some reason.
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