Shop More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconwordofchen: More from WordOfChen


Featured in Collections

Work of Chen by noorelven

Storys by DannyOfX

wordofchen by MatthewsLeoRose


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
January 12, 2013
File Size
4.1 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
3,657
Favourites
213 (who?)
Comments
55
×
Misery's Garden:

Through the cold ice we trekked, the Reaper and I.
His face an ever-shifting grin, oscillating between joy and malice...

With quick, light-footed steps, he lead me to a warm green meadow.
A small hut in the distance, a little garden beside.
Where a hunchbacked man, covered in boils and open wounds;
Bearing a crooked jaw and gnarled hands, tilled the earth.

"Egh yew ooh wha gu wan!"

I was so startled by the hunchback's sudden outburst,
That I jumped and gripped the Reaper's cloak in fright,
Yet as soon as he had seen me, the hunchback's eyes glazed over;
He appeared to forget about our presence...

I had to admit, I was very curious
And I wished to move in close so I could inspect him.
Reaching out with my hand to clasp his own;
I was assailed by horrid visions.

In one instance I was a collector of night soil,
Abuse hurled at me like stones and I the accepting target.
For to speak was to open this torn mouth of mine
And that would merely draw a mocking laugh and looks of fear...

In another vision I was placed in a moving chair,
Unable to speak, but allowed to cry; strapped in as my limbs flailed.
I could not understand the looks of those around me, but I understood pain;
Pushed to the ground with force, my limbs jerking in shock.
I dangled helplessly, caught by the belt, my misery a whimper...

But the last was the most terrifying, for it felt utterly real.
A simple loaf of bread clutched in my hands,
As I was pinned to the ground and pummelled by many men.
Their joyous shrieks and entertained guffaws,
Rang hollow in my ears as I picked the crushed pieces of bread -
From the dirty floor...

What else can I do?
I have nothing to eat.


"Eb-yu Eb-yu, 'Op!"

The yell of the hunchback brought me out of my painful reverie
And whilst I'd been lost to the world; the sky had grown dark...

Thunder crackled and lightning cackled, as trees burnt and the ground cracked.

Faceless men emerged from beyond the greenery,
Spouting hateful words that buzzed through the air.
It was the mere sound of these vulgarities, regardless of their meaning,
That caused the heart to clench as forgotten wounds reopened...

For hours I watched as they beat the hunchback;
Raining abusive blows like a swarm of angry bees;
They hurled a vulgar verbiage, mixed with excited bleats,
As they forced him to spit his teeth and cough up red...

Body shattered, badly battered;
On the cracked ground the hunchback crawls...
Seeking, in the distance, a simple flower.
A tiny symbol of hope, a glowing sun;
Burning brightly - but soon crushed by a heavy boot.


Laughter filled the air as the hunchback wept,
His boils bursting open and covering his body.
Wracked with pain, the flower was medicine
And so he screamed; incomprehensible words

"Eg-yu! Eg-yu! Agh-ah Eg-yu!"

The Reaper smiled at me as I watched the tragedy unfold,
"As it was given, so too shall he beget,"

On his hands and knees, the crying hunchback crawled;
Reaching out and grasping at my leg...

"Ehu eg-yu, ehu eg-yu"

As he muttered those pitiful words,
He grasped my boot and touched it to his forehead,
Clearly pleading - though I knew not what he wanted.

"A punishment made to fit the crime," said the Reaper,
"Yet pardon does require sacrifice..."
He smiled coldly, "would you like to present a gift my lord?"

I nodded solemnly as I ruined my thumb,
Canine teeth tearing into the nail and flesh,
As blood leaked from the maimed finger;
I spread it across the hunchback's forehead...




"Thus will I anoint..."





-Chen Yuan Wen, 12th January 2013
If you liked my work don't forget to click that favourite button at the top :star: (^_^)/ Thank you

If you'd like to support my artwork and you have some spare change. Please take a look at my new e-book it's only $1.99 and available in multiple e-formats for purchase [you can even read it on your PC, phone etc.]:



Other Important Links:

My Facebook Page: [link]
Youtube Channel: [link]
My Gallery: [link]

Author's Comment:

Aye maties,

T'night I decided t' post th' continuation o' me journey t' hell series. The first of which can be found here:

Sending Me To HellSending Me To Hell:

I close my eyes, as the black smoke fills the air.
Incense burned to create a semi-choking sensation.
A tiny inkling of the perceived suffering,
But it is enough to make this difficult...

Next, wounds are carefully opened.
Patterns carved into the flesh,
Resembling the nine circles of suffering.
As each begins to form a red river,

An ocean pools beneath my stained elbows.

In the distance I hear the cackling of witches;
Accompanied always by the mad shrieks of those beyond.
Already they can taste the red wine that I ooze
And eagerly, their tongues wag; anticipating the feast.

Concentrate...I have to concentrat


After being received by the Reaper I watched this tragedy unfold and at the end I anointed the man with my blood, though I knew not th' purpose.

I hope ye've enjoyed it and the kind of imagery I used, because hell isn't about punishment only fer a specific type of crime. There are punishments designed specifically fer th' crime ye committed and this is one of them. It is an accumulation of what ye've done and this is th' end result =P

Anywho, I hope ye've enjoyed this and I'd just like t' use th' time t' say somethin' else.

T' those who choose t' whine instead o' workin' hard. I will never give-in t' ya.

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:

If you really like me lots and want to show some epic support (other than just purchasing a book), following this link and read the journal (^_^)V >[link]<
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmichel-le-fou:
Captain, here I be for a new critique. What shall I say besides it is your inimitable style? Your narrative style and tone stand out through all your works, which I never cease to enjoy and like to collect. Your tone reflects the mood of you as writer as well as narrator, naturally. The selection of language here, as in all your poetry, is typical but none the less fascinating. You keep us on edge.

Quick, light-footed steps. A hunchback emerges and mumbles in a language or jargon that reminds me of the jargon i created for my first novella. Sadly it is NOT online here. A true creator, and always a pleasure.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
6 out of 9 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconwinterkate:
Heya. I've given you critique before, I think, so you know that I'm not just attacking you personally with the low stars. I'm giving you blunt, honest critique because I know you can take it. It's just that for me this does not feel like a poem at all. There was interesting development in the story - I liked the vision about the night soil the most, as it struck me as the most original - but other than that, really, I feel like the poem is sentences broken apart, and that I've heard several of your similes and descriptions before (like a swarm of angry bees, etc). I do like the bit about canine teeth; that was intriguing. I just wish there was more of that originality in there, and maybe that this was transformed into a prose piece.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
19 out of 20 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013
Hm.
Reply
:iconkaixshadow:
KaixShadow Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:iconthumbsupplz:
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you for enjoying this ^^

-Captain Chen of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconkaixshadow:
KaixShadow Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Welcome
Reply
:iconaugumon05:
augumon05 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
I found this a little harder to follow/ read than most of your other works, but what i could follow was really good.
Reply
:iconnoorelven:
noorelven Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013
ooooooOOOOoo a continuation :D awesome :D
very well written too!!!
Reply
:iconsilversahde:
Silversahde Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
"With quick, light-footed steps, he lead me to warm green meadow"

In this sentence isn't it supposed to be "he lead me to a warm green meadow?"

I loved the poem on the other hand though.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you for picking up the error, it has been changed

And of course, thank you kindly for reading ^^

-Captain Chen of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconsilversahde:
Silversahde Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
No problem ^.^ I love your poems
Reply
:iconsmokedragon:
smokedragon Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013
The misery in this is vivid and positively inescapable. As always, thoroughly enjoyed your work!
Reply
Add a Comment: