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This pain I feel inside,
It comes from no wounds.
This pain I feel I've died,
Don't leave me in this room...

I am surrounded by the walls-
And my cage grows tighter.
I pick up cigarettes and crawl,
As I search for my lighter.

Holding flames that I cup,
In these hands so bitter.
I take that first of puffs;
With a swill of liquor.

I have sunk to the bottom.
I'm dreaming of the moment I-
Will break the surface and see the sun.
But sadly I am done...
So let's go play with the gun!

Click-click, click-click
And load, just pull the trigger!

Click-click, click-click,
And load, let the gun smoke linger!

- Word of Chen, 13th May 2014
If you liked it, don't forget to fave it! It's the only way I'll know! (>3<)/

Hi everyone,

Here is another piece of poetry from me. This time, I think it's finally good enough for a group submission, so I'll be submitting to all the groups I joined before.

As for the poem itself, I wanted to do something where I mixed clean vocals with heavy parts. The underlying theme is of course, SUICIDE, of course I wanted to do something that hinted at it rather than talking outright about the act itself.

How to read this?:
If you want to sing it, the proper rhythm is:

This pain-I feel-Inside
It comes from no wounds.

For the first part, pause after every two words, for the second part, you sing fast. You should be able to get the rhythm after that.

The italics are sung in pure clean vocals, bolds in growls, normal font is sung with a mix of clean vocals and growls wherever you deem appropriate. Repeat the last two verses once if you're singing, because that'll help it feel like the song has ended.

Of course, I'll do a proper vocal version of this after I get my microphone (and your ear drums will bleed!)

If you liked it, don't forget to fave it!

Mini-Challenge:

Do a piece that deals with the topic of suicide, however you cannot in your poem make an actual reference to the death of the reader, the subject, or the individual committing the act. Ready? Give it a shot!

-Chenbeard the Pirate :iconwordofchen:

Stalk me on facebook: www.facebook.com/WordOfChen
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsevenofeleven:
sevenofeleven Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2014
I could imagine a group like the Deftones, a band that switches from loud to soft doing this as a song.

Maybe even Garbage could do this or Catherine Wheel.

Cool poem.

------------------------------
Another train goes by, she left me and I want to die.
Back to barely lit days and lonely ways.
She was the light of my life without compare, I will do anything not to go back there!
Pills are too slow and a wussy way to go.
Can't buy a gun, though with one shot I will be done.
No! I want to die while scenery blurs by. 
Could an express train end my pain?
My ticket to ride from this life comes into the station, my heart beats fast in anticipation.
Thump, thump, I prepare to jump.
I am such a coward as another train rolls by again.
Reply
:icontommyboywood:
tommyboywood Featured By Owner May 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Gee, another suicide poem (yawn)
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 26, 2014  Professional Writer
Eeeyup

-Chen :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconcandygirl101010:
candygirl101010 Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Quick question just of curiosity, do u smoke?
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Professional Writer
Nope x'D but I used to ^^

-Chennie :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconcandygirl101010:
candygirl101010 Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Aha! I thought so I noticed u used reference to it twice (like in two deputy poems) so I had a hunch it was an influences some how
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Professional Writer
Yeah, I used to smoke quite a bit, but I quit very soon after. It was an army thing, stress of being a soldier I guess x'D

-Chennie :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconcandygirl101010:
candygirl101010 Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
ThaThat do it and tge army can faq ur mind up to
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Professional Writer
Yup :'3

-Chen :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconcandygirl101010:
candygirl101010 Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I've lost to much through the army
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Professional Writer
Yeah, I know that feel.

-Chen :iconwordofchen:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconchildishsince1997:
Childishsince1997 Featured By Owner May 19, 2014  Student Photographer
can i hug you?
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Professional Writer
Yes you may ^^ *hugs*

-Chennie :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconchildishsince1997:
Childishsince1997 Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Student Photographer
-hugs tight-
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Professional Writer
Awww *hugs* x'D

-Chen :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconmakkochan:
MakkoChan Featured By Owner May 19, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I really like it great job
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Professional Writer
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it :'3

-Chennie :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconensignpulverize:
ensignpulverize Featured By Owner May 18, 2014
Sums up how I feel......
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Professional Writer
Yeah, it gets like that some days, but you'll be alright mate ^^

-Chennie :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconricardo-orozco:
Ricardo-Orozco Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
careful you might become a rapper maybe its too late :O
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Professional Writer
Nah, too late, already am a rapper...just a poor one...with no music...and no money x'D

Which means, I'm basically a realistic rapper x'D

-Chennie :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconricardo-orozco:
Ricardo-Orozco Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
hahah im there too ... im a realistic rapper.. hehe :)
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Professional Writer
Nice :'3

-Chennie :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:icontlmfan:
TLMFan Featured By Owner May 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Great work!  I wish I had this kind of lyric talent
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 16, 2014  Professional Writer
Thanks (^_^) It just takes loads of practice though, nothing special and no tricks involved :'3

-Siddy Kitty :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconshortypaint-pencil:
Shortypaint-pencil Featured By Owner May 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Great work! :D
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 16, 2014  Professional Writer
Thank you kindly ^^

-Siddy Kitty :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconminingfordegus:
MiningForDegus Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
Must read this again with the proper rhythm later -
sadly, I don't have the time right now. Love how it looks.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 16, 2014  Professional Writer
Haha, thanks :'3

-Siddy Kitty :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconangeloflight03:
AngelofLight03 Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Student Writer
Amazing
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 16, 2014  Professional Writer
Thank you kindly ^^

-Siddy Kitty :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconangeloflight03:
AngelofLight03 Featured By Owner May 16, 2014  Student Writer
You are welcome :D
Reply
:iconi-just-want-to-be-mi:
I-just-want-to-be-Mi Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thats.... wow. I like it. 
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 16, 2014  Professional Writer
Glad to know that you did :'3

-Siddy Kitty :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconpdjazzstellar:
PDJazzStellar Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Just how I feel, I liked it.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 16, 2014  Professional Writer
Thank you very much for enjoying it ^^

-Siddy Kitty :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconpdjazzstellar:
PDJazzStellar Featured By Owner May 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Welcome! ^_^
Reply
:iconroguethescarredangel:
RoguetheScarredAngel Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Student Writer
I love this. It's strong and powerful. Though, I wouldn't suggest playing with a gun :XD: Still a good poem. Well done :clap:
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 16, 2014  Professional Writer
Haha, thanks mate ;3

-Siddy Kitty :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconroguethescarredangel:
RoguetheScarredAngel Featured By Owner May 16, 2014  Student Writer
No problem captain :XD:
Reply
:iconpikachu04289:
pikachu04289 Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
neat
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 16, 2014  Professional Writer
Thanks :'3

-Siddy Kitty :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconmorrigan94:
Morrigan94 Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
so great !
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 16, 2014  Professional Writer
Thanks for the compliment ^^

-Siddy Kitty :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconmorrigan94:
Morrigan94 Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
np
Reply
:icontroelsmahaffy:
troelsmahaffy Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
I'll fav and maybe take the challenge :)
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 16, 2014  Professional Writer
Thank you ^^

-Siddy Kitty :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconfraffee:
fraffee Featured By Owner May 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Nice one :) 
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 16, 2014  Professional Writer
Thanks my friend :'3

-Siddy Kitty :iconwordofchen:
Reply
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