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Submitted on
May 13
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This pain I feel inside,
It comes from no wounds.
This pain I feel I've died,
Don't leave me in this room...

I am surrounded by the walls-
And my cage grows tighter.
I pick up cigarettes and crawl,
As I search for my lighter.

Holding flames that I cup,
In these hands so bitter.
I take that first of puffs;
With a swill of liquor.

I have sunk to the bottom.
I'm dreaming of the moment I-
Will break the surface and see the sun.
But sadly I am done...
So let's go play with the gun!

Click-click, click-click
And load, just pull the trigger!

Click-click, click-click,
And load, let the gun smoke linger!

- Word of Chen, 13th May 2014
If you liked it, don't forget to fave it! It's the only way I'll know! (>3<)/

Hi everyone,

Here is another piece of poetry from me. This time, I think it's finally good enough for a group submission, so I'll be submitting to all the groups I joined before.

As for the poem itself, I wanted to do something where I mixed clean vocals with heavy parts. The underlying theme is of course, SUICIDE, of course I wanted to do something that hinted at it rather than talking outright about the act itself.

How to read this?:
If you want to sing it, the proper rhythm is:

This pain-I feel-Inside
It comes from no wounds.

For the first part, pause after every two words, for the second part, you sing fast. You should be able to get the rhythm after that.

The italics are sung in pure clean vocals, bolds in growls, normal font is sung with a mix of clean vocals and growls wherever you deem appropriate. Repeat the last two verses once if you're singing, because that'll help it feel like the song has ended.

Of course, I'll do a proper vocal version of this after I get my microphone (and your ear drums will bleed!)

If you liked it, don't forget to fave it!

Mini-Challenge:

Do a piece that deals with the topic of suicide, however you cannot in your poem make an actual reference to the death of the reader, the subject, or the individual committing the act. Ready? Give it a shot!

-Chenbeard the Pirate :iconwordofchen:

Stalk me on facebook: www.facebook.com/WordOfChen
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:iconsevenofeleven:
sevenofeleven Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2014
I could imagine a group like the Deftones, a band that switches from loud to soft doing this as a song.

Maybe even Garbage could do this or Catherine Wheel.

Cool poem.

------------------------------
Another train goes by, she left me and I want to die.
Back to barely lit days and lonely ways.
She was the light of my life without compare, I will do anything not to go back there!
Pills are too slow and a wussy way to go.
Can't buy a gun, though with one shot I will be done.
No! I want to die while scenery blurs by. 
Could an express train end my pain?
My ticket to ride from this life comes into the station, my heart beats fast in anticipation.
Thump, thump, I prepare to jump.
I am such a coward as another train rolls by again.
Reply
:icontommyboywood:
tommyboywood Featured By Owner May 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Gee, another suicide poem (yawn)
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 26, 2014  Professional Writer
Eeeyup

-Chen :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconcandygirl101010:
candygirl101010 Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Quick question just of curiosity, do u smoke?
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Professional Writer
Nope x'D but I used to ^^

-Chennie :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconcandygirl101010:
candygirl101010 Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Aha! I thought so I noticed u used reference to it twice (like in two deputy poems) so I had a hunch it was an influences some how
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Professional Writer
Yeah, I used to smoke quite a bit, but I quit very soon after. It was an army thing, stress of being a soldier I guess x'D

-Chennie :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconcandygirl101010:
candygirl101010 Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
ThaThat do it and tge army can faq ur mind up to
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Professional Writer
Yup :'3

-Chen :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconcandygirl101010:
candygirl101010 Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I've lost to much through the army
Reply
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