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Submitted on
July 6, 2012
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767 bytes
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Judgement:

You are a mewling coward and weakling
Offal to the world, yet too arrogant to admit it!
Unbridled by the feelings of shame and guilt;
A man who was naught but a self-serving sycophant...
Remember the days that you used to spend
Envious of others who worked harder than you
More and more you would curse at their backs
It was an act that blackened your tongue and soul!
Now as you gaze into the maw of the inferno
Endlessly waiting for the judge's call


Read the first letter of every line, and know the fate for which you fall.


-Chen Yuan Wen, 6th July 2012
Fave it if you enjoyed it ^^:
Those who fave in the first hour get a dedication tomorrow. It helps me know who enjoys my work :3.

Author's Comment:

Arrr maties,

Second release fer horror week. I wanted to do something different than the usual sadako stuff. I'll save the frightening things fer tomorrow. Instead, enjoy this rather demonic piece. It's nothin' special really, but I thought it would be a good idea to break from the usual form :3.

EDIT: To those who believe I spelled the title wrong. First go to this link: [link]

Then try typing judgment in a comment box. You'll find it turns red and gets corrected to judgement.

Thank you for your time and thanks for the view ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:

Other Poems by Me:
Barely Breathing - [link]
An Epic Legend - [link]
The Tomb of Khaine - [link]
To Save a Princess - [link]

Other Prose by Me:
Sanguine Chapter 1 - Release 4 - [link]
Pirate: The Legend of Chenbeard, Chapter 1 - Release 1 - [link]
Mercenary Chapter 1 - Release 1 - [link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconforgotten-reaper:
Can't really give any marks on the technique, but it's very good for free-verse, I don't generally like free verse poetry either. There is one thing I'd correct about your technique though. It would be having to tell people it's an acrostic, in the poem. I personally would say it should be in the description, as a few should work it out without needing the hint. Only my personal opinion of course, and only thing I didn't like ^^"

The imagery is perfect with all the fancy wording XD
And you manage to pull off "fancy wording" too, well done you! It's very impressive to see a writer use strange words perfectly.

This is the first poem on dA I've seen which is both an acrostic and has an entire theme of it's own throughout the words as well. Usually an acrostic is pathetic, with an interesting message down the side afterwards. But this was perfect. :thumbsup:

I would've given you around impact four, the imagery and impact of it was perfect, but not entirely powerful throughout the message, and then when you finally see the acrostic, having read it without entirely noticing what little nagging thing it was about the poem that's annoyed you.

It takes you aback and well, I personally had to applaud it. :clap: Well done my friend, you managed to take a very weak acrostic form of poetry, make it your own, and above all, make it powerful, make it strong! Well done my friend.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
20 out of 20 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconthewitchofgrich:
A very beautiful poem!

It is very dark and taunting, written with slight feeling of superiority, as it should be, judging by the title and the motives. Perhaps, I would have liked 'stronger' words to emphasise the dark fate of the victim. Still, you did quite well.

The words are well chosen and somewhat unusual, which makes the poem all the more original. I personally like your choice of vocabulary and how you constructed the acrostic. Even the last sentence could be a part of the poem - it fits, like a message after the riddle.

It doesn't awake strong emotions, which is why I didn't give all five stars, but the feeling of dread is still there, especially in the last verse which is an excellent ending.

Well done! :)
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
7 out of 7 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconlolnyny:
lolnyny Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
OMG!! love that! you are mine! :D
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:iconlolnyny:
lolnyny Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
judgement
Reply
:iconsmightar:
Smightar Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Student Filmographer
YOU ARE MINE!!EPIC!!!
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Professional Writer
Haha, thanks for enjoying ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:icontwiunderseeker:
TwiUnderSeeker Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
This is amazing. Love it.
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:iconacheron21:
Acheron21 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2012
Beautiful. Very fitting in todays society
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:icondarkphantomflame:
darkphantomflame Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2012
this really rustled my jimmies and gave me goosebumps when I finished, ITS AWESOME
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:iconnaiad-of-naraka:
Naiad-of-Naraka Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2012
So, you're British?
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:iconkedonsine:
kedonsine Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You Are Mine! Arrgh!!! :Screams: *Hides Behind Lyra* :fear:
Reply
:iconbionic-kitty:
Bionic-Kitty Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Im not really one for poetry...but i WILL remember this one. words can't descirbe all that i feel after reading this and that's saying something because i usually don't react like this toward art or writing. It's short, but definitely packs a punch amazing work
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