Sta.sh
Judgement:
You are a mewling coward and weakling
Offal to the world, yet too arrogant to admit it!
Unbridled by the feelings of shame and guilt;
A man who was naught but a self-serving sycophant...
Remember the days that you used to spend
Envious of others who worked harder than you
More and more you would curse at their backs
It was an act that blackened your tongue and soul!
Now as you gaze into the maw of the inferno
Endlessly waiting for the judge's call
Read the first letter of every line, and know the fate for which you fall.
-Chen Yuan Wen, 6th July 2012
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It is very dark and taunting, written with slight feeling of superiority, as it should be, judging by the title and the motives. Perhaps, I would have liked 'stronger' words to emphasise the dark fate of the victim. Still, you did quite well.
The words are well chosen and somewhat unusual, which makes the poem all the more original. I personally like your choice of vocabulary and how you constructed the acrostic. Even the last sentence could be a part of the poem - it fits, like a message after the riddle.
It doesn't awake strong emotions, which is why I didn't give all five stars, but the feeling of dread is still there, especially in the last verse which is an excellent ending.
Well done!
The imagery is perfect with all the fancy wording XD
And you manage to pull off "fancy wording" too, well done you! It's very impressive to see a writer use strange words perfectly.
This is the first poem on dA I've seen which is both an acrostic and has an entire theme of it's own throughout the words as well. Usually an acrostic is pathetic, with an interesting message down the side afterwards. But this was perfect.
I would've given you around impact four, the imagery and impact of it was perfect, but not entirely powerful throughout the message, and then when you finally see the acrostic, having read it without entirely noticing what little nagging thing it was about the poem that's annoyed you.
It takes you aback and well, I personally had to applaud it.
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