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Into The Mental Abyss:

To the edge of the very abyss I have travelled.
With worn feet, gone bloodied and bare;
Dragged upon stones that stretch like sharpened spines,
Leaving tattered spoils of flesh in my wake...

Even so, I am incapable of halting;
Like a zombie, I remain numb and hypnotised.
Shambling ever onward, toward the glimmer of light.
Eager to be behold the 'she' that awaits me:

A wonderous wellspring of inspiration and knowledge;
Perfect, yet fragile, in both shape and form...
It is her majesty, her radiance,
That leaves me drained...

Alone in the depths, I am humbled and awed.

Yet the admiration that I feel soon turns corrupt,
It renders my thoughts both dark and cracked...

For if any other were to find her,
They would wield her as a weapon.
They would have no need for inspiration.
Creative thought would be an utter simplicity:

Leaving a perfect world, without opportunity...

Indeed I could never share such a thing.
Jealousy leaves me ugly, but still I cannot share!
Instead I must hide it, deep beneath the earth.
A safe location, one that is far from prying eyes.
Only when it is buried, gone for an eternity,
Then shall I be at peace.

But where oh where, in this tattered hellscape,
Shall I hide a thrashing body?
Okaaay everyone, NEWEST piece out. You can read the journal about the Captain's situation but first I have to share this with you.

This is the result of his recent madness and I must say it is deliciously evil. Something about the darkness is fresh and new, probably reflecting his new experiences. I look forward honestly to seeing what else will come from this.

From the Captain himself, here is a quick comment:

"Imagine that you have found a wellspring of ideas of knowledge. In an age where information is power, would you share it with another? I certainly would not, for it is mine. My PRECIOUS..."

At this point he did the gollum thing, so that's all I have as a comment ^^;

Hope you all enjoy it~ pyon!

-Co-Captain Bunny Hayes
Add a Comment:
oOConvictionOo Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
I cannot say there is anything I dislike about this at all.
In truth, my favorite is the emotions this peace invokes, but also the emotions that were put into it.
By the end of it, I felt jealousy myself for not being able to say it better myself XD 11/10 in my book :D
XxRockFiendxX Featured By Owner May 5, 2013
haha gollum thing XD tis awesomeness, as per norm =3
Argentum-Lupae-Luna Featured By Owner May 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This was deliciously dark. And I like that. Chen's been doing quite well, it would seem.
bluebeagle5262 Featured By Owner May 2, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
this certainly appeals to my mind. such dark tendrils of poetry that caress a mind filled with mysterious content will surely bring some interesting thoughts around~
angelgirlartist Featured By Owner May 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Gollum fits in this case, and lovely poem.
snowywolf13 Featured By Owner May 2, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
This is indeed deliciously evil. I love it
Sanddune798 Featured By Owner May 2, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm loving all of the recent dark poetry. Such tasty poisons....
AyeAye12 Featured By Owner May 2, 2013  Student Writer
POSITIVE: This has some nice alliteration at the start, primarily "With worn feet" and "wonderous wellspring". Also, the similarity between the word "wondrous" and "wandering" is clever.

NEGATIVE: "Wonderous" should be "wondrous" and I feel the rhythm a bit lacking. It reads very irregularly, which is halting for my mind. Especially the ellipsis; I can understand the dramatic feel the poet/you are trying to portray from it but it falters in the fact that it is overused until no atmosphere of mystery is left. Also, there is some awkward wording at times. For example, "Leaving tattered spoils" and "Like a zombie, I remain" stick out to me as needing some rewording.
Silent-Intrigant Featured By Owner May 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Very dark and deep poem!

May God be with El Capitán!
imaterribledrawer Featured By Owner May 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is phenomenal, but in Leaving a perfect world, without opportunity... you forgot to put the < in the </i> so it looks like this
Leaving a perfect world, without opportunity.../i>
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Submitted on
May 2, 2013
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