Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:iconwordofchen: More from WordOfChen


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
October 17, 2012
File Size
710 bytes
Submitted with
Sta.sh
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
6,294
Favourites
584 (who?)
Comments
173
×
With a warm drink, whispering secrets to my own reflection.

The struggles that plague me, though none may know,

Are only for the ears of my quiet mirror, who smiles

Softly, warmly and with care. He tells me, I'm fine

I've done well for now and soon I may finally rest.

Though the silence continues to press upon me,

Weighing upon my soul like an iron crate.

Still I find comfort in whispering secrets,

If only to my own reflection - holding a warm drink...


-Chen Yuan Wen, 17th October 2012
If liked this piece, please take a moment to fave it (^_^). Each faves let's me know that you liked the piece and it helps the piece get ranked for popularity :3

If you'd like to hear me read poems and do a little comedy live then then check out episode 3 of my live show here: [link]

Author's Comment:

It's occurred to me recently that people might be getting tired of long poetry. I've noticed that viewership around October tends to suffer and maybe it's because some people are closer to their exam periods and they can't really read long pieces + Halloween and other events.

So what do I do about it? Create a new technique of course :3

This is a little something I call 'Shot-Glass Poetry'. Essentially it has the following characteristics:
1. The use of spaced out lines to make it more relaxing for the reader's eyes.
2. The length is short overall (much like a shot of rum)
3. Emotion must be there (A single shot is potent after all and this mimics that)
4. It must be simple to understand (It's not a cocktail)

By using these four characteristics (taken from various other poetic styles) the combined result is a relaxing semi-smooth piece that still carries the emotional impact of a longer poem, but is much shorter in length and suitable for someone who just wants to relax at the end of the day and get the same feels without the hassle of reading a long piece.

I'll be doing these shots actively, so please let me know if you like them. I think it'll be nice to space out my longer work with quick shots in between especially during stressful seasons when people need to relax more ^^.

This piece in particular, speaks about the feelings that some people have at the end of the day. Particularly if they live alone. For these lonely individuals, sometimes that cup of coffee and a window pane is really all you have at the end of the day. Heck, even I end up with just that sometimes...but a warm drink can still feel pretty darn good :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:

Other Poems by Me:
Yeah I'm Stupid! Yeah I'm Stupid!:

Indeed you are absolutely superior. A divine being, more intelligent,
Learned and completely right in everything you say about me.
However, if I might be permitted to — as they say in slang —
"Drop the beat", then I'd like to show you my own style of doing things.
Art thou ready for this my sibling from a different parent?

-

Sir can I have just a moment of your time? I think I lost
My will, let me sit and bust a rhyme — rappin' like I'm
Edgar Allan singin' Raven songs, thank god I have a
life and love that keeps me really strong. See I
Understand the fact that you may not like the things I do,
Str
Waking Nightmares Waking Nightmares:

It begins in the same way, every single night
Fire spreading from an altar in the darkness—
As all living beings are slowly consumed,
The coruscating flames appear wet with blood…

The scene then changes to a flooded hallway
Live wires dangling just above the water,
Like venomous serpents slithering in the darkness—
A single pounce would end my life…

Eventually the hallway ends with a door,
One that reminds me of forgotten yore—
And my thoughts shall be in rhyme at this point
As though lips and tongue are eternally joint…

What maddened schemes have they in mind?
It is not a questio
This is for the Reader This is for the Reader:

With the soft touch of his fingers
The piano begins to play, a heart untouched for so long
Bares its secret melody...

-

When I first started out I couldn't avoid just bein' cold
My life revolved the things that I was always told—
I never knew the warmth of standing up to take a bow
It was not a joy that I would ever-ever be allowed
Through all the days I feared that everything would disappear
You held me up and held me close like I was something dear
I never knew I had a part of me that you would like
I guess that's what you feel when you can't even see the light…

-

So this is the only way, that
FEAR FEAR:

Frantically he scrambles away from the dark
Eager to be free of his waking nightmare
Acting only upon the instinct within him;
Reminded constantly that he is prey

For some time he hides in the pervasive shadows—
Earnestly praying that he will not be discovered
A single sound is all it takes to jar him;
Running from a creature that he can barely see

From head to toe it is certainly monstrous
Enshrouded in an aura of absolute repugnance
As the acid drips from its cruel jaws,
Rapidly dissolving the ground below

Fearful, he cowers, beneath boxes and cardboard,
Escaping away into a tiny corner of his mind
Alone with only


Other Literature by Me:
Mercenary 1-1 MERCENARY

Chapter 1: Blood is Beauty

Release One: Pages 1 - 3

THE COLD AIR in Baron Rorke's study did little to calm his nerves. He was expecting visitors this night and they were not the best of company. A shiver of dread ran down his spine and he spent most of the twilight hours staring out of a large window which stood behind his writing desk. It was amazing, he felt, how quickly a man could become attached to a life of luxury; only to be made painfully aware of how easy it was to lose it. War was always a frightening thing, even more so when one had the knowledge and sense to realise that it was no longer an exercise of glory, but a si
Add a Comment:
 
:iconkailani-e:
Another great piece Cap'n!
Vision: I gave this a four because there is depth, you can "see" into a person and show a deep full of emotion piece. It's relatable to many and does not cause one to wallow in too much melancholy and yet gives a foreboding of sadness.
Originality: On the other hand, this is a slightly over used idea. Many writer's write about this and is not as original as your other pieces.
Technique: But you wrote it in such a way it's refreshing despite the idea's overuse. The structure is very reader friendly (as you've mentioned in your author's note) and
Impact: still allows you to feel the pressure of your idea.

Again, great job! Keep writing!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
5 out of 5 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconluvthemhungergames:
Hello there dearest capitan :) Thanks agian for inviting me to do another critique, it is quiet humbling.

I love your description of shot-glass poetry. Extermely creative and very you! I would've never in my wildest dreams imagined creating a new style of poetry, yet, here you have it. Brilliantly executed.

The spacin gbetween thte liens is pleasing to the eyes. HHowever I did not see very many sensory descriptions besides the pressing weight of silence. Sensory words are always a great way to spice up any poem (through sounds, smells, sights, and sounds of course).

The subject is once again something the audience can connect too. The insecurity in indiviguals, and the cage that we all seem to feel around us. And the mirror is always a safe route when creating images due to the fact that everyone has an image of the class mirror scene in their head since it is used in many great poems. I believe taht you could've used something more origional rather traditional. However, you made up for it (overly I might add) with making a new style of poetry.

I wonder if anyone has adopted your style yet?

I must say that the fact you have observed the decline in views during October is impressive. And then going the extra length to actually create a soluton for your quandry is even more so :) Well done once again!

Keep on writting and happy sailing.

May the odds be ever in your favor.
LuvThemHungerGames
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:icongoombapie:
GoombaPie Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
this is lovely
:)
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you for enjoying it ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconjoshuahartesq:
joshuahartesq Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012
This was definitely a poetent shot for me...very strong! Great stuff! :)
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you kindly for the wonderful compliment ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconjoshuahartesq:
joshuahartesq Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012
:):)
Reply
:iconabsinth-c-lover:
Absinth-C-Lover Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2012
Wow dear Chen this is so very beautiful. I like this style a lot. I love to read many, many more .. so .. write, write, write .. lol ;)) ~ :heart: :shamrock: :rose:
Reply
:iconlivinginmythoughts:
LivingInMyThoughts Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012
I like the idea of the shorter poetry! I know I shouldn't, but sometimes I have a hard time getting through longer poetry, so I think this poetry style is a very cool idea. :D
Reply
:icondarklondondreams:
DarkLondonDreams Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I love this poem. It makes me want to curl up and read a book with my own drink :D The shot-glass idea is perfect, it delivers a message without being so lengthy.
Reply
Flagged as Spam
Flagged as Spam
Add a Comment: