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Once I happened upon a callow young lass,
Who apparently thought that it was cool to be crass.
And she turned her tongue upon the profession of writing;
Apparently she felt that it was in need of a smiting.

Though her raving and ranting made very little sense,
She seemed to be taking a rather harsh stance.
Apparently her pain was too great to be understood,
Far beyond the comprehension of this man from the hood.

So I stood there in swagger, clad in my bling.
While she behaved like 'Moon-Moon', in search of a thing.
She spouted some nonsense, some far fetched line,
About never idolizing the keen writer's mind...

...Aaaaaalrighty then,

If that is the case, then why ape my technique?
Why submit to several galleries; is your brain on the leak?
You are writing to be seen; you seek attention as I do,
What are we if not performers, is that not true?

Did you believe that you could use your past as a shield?
It counts, I'm afraid, for nothing, I feel;
For you see, I'm a killer, as bold as I dare,
I care not if you scream or if you tear out your hair.

And if you are offended, I'm sorry I swear.
I was under the impression that your soul was bare...

...Now if you please my dear, it's quiet time I beg,
Or should I quoteth the Griffon and say, "Shut up Meg."





-Chen Yuan Wen, 24th July 2013
If you enjoyed this humorous piece then don't forget to click the fave button (^_^)/. If you'd like to share it via facebook, you're also welcome to do that :3

Author's Comment:

*Clears throat* Ahem,

*British accent initializing*

Greetings my fellows,

I am rarely one to bother about most things during the day, I often have too much on my plate. Unfortunately though, something did catch my attention. There was this - human-like thing - that posted some poem about how writing is the equivalent of chris-brown beating on Rihanna and then there was something else about themselves and several lines that have been so commonly used in self-mutilation poems that I didn't even bother to read further.

To be frank, I was left with a wonder. If indeed they believed that writers should not be idolized and went so far as to dedicate an entire poem to the quote: "Never be a writer", then why were they writing in the first place? In fact, let's go further. They even adopted my technique of submitting works to multiple online galleries. They were close to 300 in fact. This particular technique is done in order to gain the maximum amount of exposure per piece.

Now, if we analyze these facts, we come to a contradiction: A poem about never being a writer, was being submitted to multiple groups that accepted writing and was therefore gaining attention for being against the very artform in which it was submitted.

Wot m8? (.3.)

Pardon my surprise, but this left me feeling rather astonished. I went through the comments and many seemed to disagree with the point of view expressed in the poem. They were still kind enough to separate opinion and technique and most likely favourited the work for being artistic, but disagreed with it based on the themes expressed. This is a common and good practice within the community, since an individual shouldn't be wholly judged on their opinion.

What I didn't like however was the fact that there was an 'attack dog' throughout the whole thing biting at jugulars because people disagreed. I saw no attempt to stop this individual being made. To be frank though, even that could be forgiven, since an artist cannot control who posts on their work.

Still, it left me feeling as though my honour had been ruffled. I know of many writers who treat the written word as a form of therapy. Through it we exercise our emotions and thoughts. One individual even expressed that writing has saved her, I can relate to that. To me, writing has been the medium that has assisted me in coming to terms with the violent Chen that dwells beneath the surface. I would still be an ill-mannered and besotted half-man if not for the world of writing. Here I can channel my constant explosions of rage into my works. It keeps the worst of the flak off my partners, family and friends (all of whom have been exceedingly patient with me). I am someone who has trouble controlling his emotions. They surge within me like a whirling riptide, eagerly crashing upon the shores of my mind and drawing more and more of it into the depths.

When I get these surges, I sit and put pen to paper. If something forms, it is healing. If nothing forms, I get to exercise the emotion and carry on with my day.

This to me is what writing represents and if you've read this far I thank you.

Writing is a wonderful and sacred art and it is not wrong for us to choose this profession. Indeed one SHOULD idolize the writers, for we create the worlds that the animators bring to life. Almost everything starts as an innocuous script, sitting on the project manager's desk. This holds true for movies, games, anime, manga, everything.

Ahem, but that's enough intelligence from me. *Pirate mode on*

In any case, I hope ye've enjoyed this 'ere humourous piece. This is pretty much how ye give someone a proper poetic smack as it were. It's all good humour, not meant t' offend anyone. As such there are no names and no relations t' any real individuals x'3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:

If you'd like to support me

- Donate some points to me ^^ Even a single one can help :3
Add a Comment:
 
:iconbaka-espada:
baka-espada Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2015  Student General Artist
wow, that was very well said, Captain. you have done justice :)
Reply
:icontalapinka:
talapinka Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This... is... AMAZING!
Reply
:iconbigbruder:
BigBruder Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014
I believe Socks have been knocked off, if that is valid for someone such as you, me or anyone who can comprehend such clever sarcasm. In other words, this is fantabulistical!!!!!
Reply
:iconvlairebelle:
Vlairebelle Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I would very much like to use this on a girl i know who thinks its fun to preach about her perfection while being a nasty, heartless person.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2013  Professional Writer
Feel free to do so, it was made for that purpose ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconaliasxneo3:
aliasxneo3 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
So I'm sitting here in sixth period multi media giggling like a deranged school girl. You, Sir, hav made my day. Thank you kindly.
Reply
:iconsyguy2013:
SyGuy2013 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I have not yet read this, but I am faving it so that I can clean out my envelope as it is in the thousands. I will read this when I can. If I like it, I will keep it faved, and let you know.
Reply
:iconjazzninja545:
Jazzninja545 Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
wonderful poem. Very clever and witty. I enjoyed it greatly :)
Reply
:iconangel1118:
angel1118 Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2013  Student General Artist
I fucking love this poem with a passion!!!!
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you mega kindly :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:

Reply
:iconcrysanthemum963:
crysanthemum963 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013
And let the choir say...:iconhellyesplz:
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank ye double kindly fer enjoyin' it x'3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconcrysanthemum963:
crysanthemum963 Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2013
^^
Reply
:iconsolsticecarol:
SolsticeCarol Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013
Epic ending, hahaha! I love this xD
Reply
:iconvardenaar:
Vardenaar Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Style and humor, now if that doesn't sound like a good combination! Almost had me falling off my chair, good I haven't had my coffee yet.
Reply
:iconlady0red:
Lady0Red Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I would recite this when my mother or step mom and dad criticism that I write too much and do everything else too little or that it doesn't make enough money but it is long and I am lazy.
Reply
:iconthepyromancer13:
ThePyromancer13 Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Loving this! I struggled to keep myself together by the 'Shut up, Meg'. So true, yet funny at the same time. Very witty ^-^
Reply
:iconfantasylover103:
fantasylover103 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm just gonna go laugh some more....XDD
Reply
:iconblacksilhoutte:
BlackSilhoutte Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I was amazed and actually laughed at this because of its charming insult.. can't stop being amazed to you Sir...!
Reply
:iconin-my-remains:
In-My-Remains Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Great! Well written indeed!

I love this, and especially the "Shut up Meg" lol. 

<3
Reply
:iconsun-down14:
Sun-Down14 Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013
Well written Captain.

I love the last line "Shut Up Meg"
Reply
:iconeco-strata:
Eco-Strata Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Student General Artist
This is brilliant.
Reply
:icon7demented:
7Demented Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Brilliant.
Reply
:iconadvancedmanga:
AdvancedManga Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Love it :) I've said it before I believe, but I love the imagination and thought you put into your works! brilliantly done!
Reply
:iconwanniewirny:
WannieWirny Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Lolll Moon Moon :XD:
Reply
:iconkcisme1:
kcisme1 Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Student Photographer
that was awesome and hilarious (i especially enjoyed the line about moon moon) and the line about being performers :)
Reply
:iconbakagohome:
bakagohome Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
"There was this - human-like thing - that posted some poem"
:iconthisplz: :XD:
'Or should I quoteth the Griffon and say, "Shut up Meg."'
:iconclapplz: Classy.
And your emotions, i'm positive the same happens to me at least 10 times each week.
I idolize writers, and I'm glad that you do too. I hope that individual will get a taste of their own medicine and realize how much more writing has to offer after taking a gander :XD: at this fabulous work of literature. :) A good job well done!
Reply
:icon52hertzwhale:
52HertzWhale Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013
(sorry last comment)

but i noticed your description as well and i was like wow you're ALSO witty charming and funny god damn
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Professional Writer
You see my dear friend...I am Asian. We are by our very nature, hilarious x'3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconkagaminelink:
KagamineLink Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
yush, we are. xD
Reply
:icon52hertzwhale:
52HertzWhale Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013
Amazing.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you kindly x'3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconhijikatatoshizo:
HijikataToshizo Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow.....it's funny how that person's attempt to 'end' poetry has instead inspired you to write this poem, which, by the way, is brilliant. Nice try, person. Nice try.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Professional Writer
Well no they weren't trying to end poetry, specifically they were quoting someone who said 'Never be a writer' and they made a poem out of that. So this is the counter to that x'3

Besides, I highly doubt anyone could end poetry for me xD

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconhijikatatoshizo:
HijikataToshizo Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yeah, that's what I meant lol but I couldn't find the right words. I still think that's stupid.

That's the spirit haha let 'em try, they be wastin' their own time :)
Reply
:icongoldennocturna:
GoldenNocturna Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Student Writer

Oh, the irony. That person sounds like a narcissistic moron who seriously needs someone to take a pin to his/her ego. >:(

 

But enough about that: really loved the poem!

Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Professional Writer
Haha, woah now, that might be a little harsh of a judgement. Though apparently someone told me she'd been doing worse than just writing. If I get proof that there is a misdemeanor going on, then I might step it up to the next level.

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:icongoldennocturna:
GoldenNocturna Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Student Writer
Possibly, but I really don't like it when people bash writing or any form of art, really. XD
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Professional Writer
haha, we'll wait and see my friend, we'll see x'3

This was just an upside.

I won't hold an execution without a trial xD

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:icongoldennocturna:
GoldenNocturna Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Student Writer
Yeah, it probably wouldn't be a good idea to hold one without trial... XD
Reply
:iconzeroravenheart:
ZeroRavenHeart Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I died at the 'Moon-Moon' part. Because at first I didn't get it, then I thought about the wolf name picture and laughed so hard xD
I wish I had the skills to poetically insult someone. Such a nice read, as well~ :3
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Professional Writer
Well I'm glad you enjoyed it x'3 I love the moon-moon joke xD

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconbunocerous:
bunocerous Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is really quite good, but it feels unfinished, as if it needed more editing done. But funny, and good.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Professional Writer
Hoho, well then *passes you the pen* you're welcome to finish it if you'd like. I can't think of anything else ^^;

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconbunocerous:
bunocerous Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I hope you meant that, because here I go. :D

"While she behaved like 'Moon-Moon', in search of a thing."
Well I understand the internet reference, that's good, and I also understand that it needed to rhyme with the first line. But it seems weak. Instead of 'in search of a thing' perhaps there is a better line that could be put there. Like 'She behaved like moon moon, barking at nothing'

"I care not if you scream or if you tear out your hair."  
Again I feel it was there for rhyming purposes but not quite right. How about 'You can shout your offense, but see if I care'

Oh and it's not  "it's quiet time I beg" because quiet is like "shhh". You mean quite.
Reply
:iconkagaminelink:
KagamineLink Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
heh
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Professional Writer
(^_^)b

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconpippy-lunalove:
pippy-lunalove Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That was beautiful!
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Professional Writer
thank you kindly x'3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconohreemamma:
Ohreemamma Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
now if someone picks a fight, i'll insult them poetically! thanks! but i'd rather not pick a fight so i could use this.Sweating a little...
Anyway, THIS is awesome! I love it... Giggle
Reply
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