How to Insult Poetically

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Author's Comment:

*Clears throat* Ahem,

*British accent initializing*

Greetings my fellows,

I am rarely one to bother about most things during the day, I often have too much on my plate. Unfortunately though, something did catch my attention. There was this - human-like thing - that posted some poem about how writing is the equivalent of chris-brown beating on Rihanna and then there was something else about themselves and several lines that have been so commonly used in self-mutilation poems that I didn't even bother to read further.

To be frank, I was left with a wonder. If indeed they believed that writers should not be idolized and went so far as to dedicate an entire poem to the quote: "Never be a writer", then why were they writing in the first place? In fact, let's go further. They even adopted my technique of submitting works to multiple online galleries. They were close to 300 in fact. This particular technique is done in order to gain the maximum amount of exposure per piece.

Now, if we analyze these facts, we come to a contradiction: A poem about never being a writer, was being submitted to multiple groups that accepted writing and was therefore gaining attention for being against the very artform in which it was submitted.

Wot m8? (.3.)

Pardon my surprise, but this left me feeling rather astonished. I went through the comments and many seemed to disagree with the point of view expressed in the poem. They were still kind enough to separate opinion and technique and most likely favourited the work for being artistic, but disagreed with it based on the themes expressed. This is a common and good practice within the community, since an individual shouldn't be wholly judged on their opinion.

What I didn't like however was the fact that there was an 'attack dog' throughout the whole thing biting at jugulars because people disagreed. I saw no attempt to stop this individual being made. To be frank though, even that could be forgiven, since an artist cannot control who posts on their work.

Still, it left me feeling as though my honour had been ruffled. I know of many writers who treat the written word as a form of therapy. Through it we exercise our emotions and thoughts. One individual even expressed that writing has saved her, I can relate to that. To me, writing has been the medium that has assisted me in coming to terms with the violent Chen that dwells beneath the surface. I would still be an ill-mannered and besotted half-man if not for the world of writing. Here I can channel my constant explosions of rage into my works. It keeps the worst of the flak off my partners, family and friends (all of whom have been exceedingly patient with me). I am someone who has trouble controlling his emotions. They surge within me like a whirling riptide, eagerly crashing upon the shores of my mind and drawing more and more of it into the depths.

When I get these surges, I sit and put pen to paper. If something forms, it is healing. If nothing forms, I get to exercise the emotion and carry on with my day.

This to me is what writing represents and if you've read this far I thank you.

Writing is a wonderful and sacred art and it is not wrong for us to choose this profession. Indeed one SHOULD idolize the writers, for we create the worlds that the animators bring to life. Almost everything starts as an innocuous script, sitting on the project manager's desk. This holds true for movies, games, anime, manga, everything.

Ahem, but that's enough intelligence from me. *Pirate mode on*

In any case, I hope ye've enjoyed this 'ere humourous piece. This is pretty much how ye give someone a proper poetic smack as it were. It's all good humour, not meant t' offend anyone. As such there are no names and no relations t' any real individuals x'3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates

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