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July 16, 2013
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How To be Happy:



A Simple and Humourous Guide:

Introduction:

Often we find ourselves feeling unhappy, feeling depressed and weepy (some would say whiny), but the truth is that all of us feel undeniably shitty. Therefore, having plenty of experience in this area, I have taken it upon myself to present to you this simple guide.

The Low-Down:

Righto, you all want to be happy, but none of you are. You've tried several things:

1. Posted a shitty status on Facebook hoping someone will pay attention to you.

2. Cried after no one liked your post because you have no friends.

3. Submitted your post to DA secrets so they could use it.

4. Felt better for about 30 seconds since people faved your secret.

5. If 4 didn't apply, you cried about it some more and then went to Tumblr for the next six hours.

My dear friends, this cycle is not the solution. You are not making yourself feel better, you are making all of our art look worse, especially with step 3! Hence, I will now demonstrate how to make yourself feel better WITHOUT looking like a whiny child noob.

The Solutions:

Possible Solution #1 - Make original content

Yes, we all know that OP (meaning original poster) is a noob, those of us who are denizens of the internet know this well. However, we also know that OC (original content) is basically what separates the losers from the cool kids. Ergo, by making original content, the possibility exists that one could transform from the loser stage to the cool kid stage.

How do you make OC? Start by using your IMAGINATION (yes I know you just saw spongebob with his rainbow right there).

Using one's imagination can be difficult, it is not an easy thing. Grey Wardens have died while using their imagination, even more than those who fell fighting dark spawn. The key to the imagination however is to have a good setup.

First, you are ALWAYS the hero. NO question about it.
Second, the heroine is ALWAYS your crush. No question about it. If you do not have one pick the hottest anime chick or guy you can think of (NO NEONGENESIS EVANGELION GIRLS! NO OURAN HIGHSCHOOL HOST CLUB [for the ladies]).
Third, you will ALWAYS show off how cool you are.
Fourth, you will ALWAYS pose in front of EVERY mirror no matter how small or how poorly reflective. This may result in you looking through your neighbours window and then posing, but that is part of being cool.

Now comes the important part. Start by imagining the situation, have a good full-length mirror near by so you can see your own expressions. Act out the scenario until you can practically feel your partner in front of you. Once you feel confident enough, do this in freakin' public. Remember, EVERY mirror, even a tiny one in a shopping mall, that's the ticket to practice a smile or a wink or a cute salute.

If people start looking at you funny, it means you failed your stealth check. Go kill several of your favoured enemies (Undead, Goblins, Chinese people, whatever y'know) or if you're not a pure or multi-class Ranger, then your mortal foe (pigeons, mosquitos, spiders, whatever y'know). You will gain XP for this (known as experience points in layman terms), remember to be dramatic for extra roleplaying XP. You will then earn a level up and be able to put 'stat-points' into your cunning attribute or your charisma statistic (depending on your preferred game).

What I really mean though is that you just have to practice until no one can notice it. All of a sudden, blamo, you're living in a world that is freaking much more epic. How else do you think I've lived for the past 9 years?

Lastly, now that your imagination is up to scratch, make up OC from all the situations you encounter, it's guaranteed to get likes or pinkies or whatever you get on whatever website you browse. Problem solved, you're now a popular noob.

Furthermore, you have practice to make yourself happy by acting out scenarios and preparing yourself for conversation and social interaction!

Possible Solution #2 - Become a bad boy/girl/whatever the hell you are

Aight, 62.756667% of the time (don't argue I calculated this!) depression or bitterness is due to the male or female being poor at relationships. You've been the good boy/girl, done all the right things, and them jack-offs just up and leave you for no good reason.

That's cool, it happens. Now are you going to become a beta-noob for life and just sit back being all weepy? No! I'm going to teach you how you can be awesome, without losing your morals and without being a douche.

To begin with, you must understand the term "Bad Boy" or "Bad Girl". It doesn't translate to: "Embarassing noob who vomits all over the place while drunk or does all sorts of drugs or sleeps around a lot."

A real bad boy or a bad girl is someone who lives their own way. Don't conform to societal norms and don't be afraid to avoid following the crowd. A major word of caution here though, is that you need to avoid turning into a hipster. No one likes a hipster. When attempting to not follow the crowd, it is not an official doctrine that you have to do something different. I will demonstrate this with a magical example from example land:

Let's say that everyone is suddenly going crazy for this new band. It doesn't mean finding a band that no one knows about and then listening to every song of theirs till your ears bleed. No one likes a noob who does that. Instead, be proud of whatever band you actually like (whether known or unknown), enjoy their music and don't be afraid to talk about them. Be selfish, shift the discussion topic away from one-direc-noob or whatever noob band is popular at the moment to a band that you think is cool. Don't be afraid to assert yourself.

Now then, I should explain something else: Not everyone is going to listen, people might make fun of you, people might mock you. THAT is where the difference between a loser noob and a bad noob exists. The bad noob doesn't give a damn what the other party thinks! At first you'll find it hard to insert your words and just walk away, but with practice it will happen. Star by just chipping into a topic of conversation, bring it up casually amongst random people. YOU MIGHT FIND AN ACTUAL FREAKIN' FRIEND! Horee-shitake!

That's the truth right there. Remember, being bad is about taking respect by force and then using it to make yourself heard. That's the important thing.

After you have taken this respect, you will become confident in your relationship. You will be able to make it work because you can make your partner respect you as a person. You will be happy. If you expect to just sit down in your bedroom and have your own hentai girl pop out of the screen...your chances are better at remaining a virgin until you're 30. That way you become a wizard! (Yes, this really does work. I personally prefer the rogue class though, I'm mostly dex/charisma so yeaaaah).

Possible Solution #3 - Become sexy so everyone else knows it

22% of the cases of being a sad noob, has to do with the fact that you hate yourself and other noobs capitalise on that and make you feel bad. Alright, that stops here!

I'm going to teach you what to-

OI, U WOT M8? NO EXCUSES!

Go down to whatever sports shop exists. Counter guy gives you a noob look, ignore the noob. Buy a comfortable set of weights and an exercise mat, BUY SOME RUNNING SHOES. NOW GO HOME!

Now that you're back home, I'm going to teach you how to get some cardio, without ever seeing a single soul. Here are some exercises that work:

1. Jumping jacks.
2. Jump rope.
3. Jogging on the spot (but not lazing jogging, knees up to your ancestor forsaken navel soldier!)

While not as good as running, these exercises prevent you from being seen by ANYBODY except your parents. This is the hikkomori way, you will not be seen until you are ready to be seen and you will be ready!

Remember to only do this shit with your running shoes ON! Don't be a noob and go barefoot. Get a thick exercise mat and do it on the mat to preserve your knees and ankles. I repeat DO NOT BE A NOOB.

Also, WARM THE HELL UP BEFORE STARTING. It takes 5 minutes, you can find warm up routines on the internet. Use google. Here I'll make it easy for you: "Easy warm up routine" Plug that exact phrase into googal. Click on the video link, it's the one with the pretty lady. DO NOT GO TO PAGE 2, IF IT'S NOT ON PAGE 1, IT'S GONE MAN!

Now you're gonna need to get a straight 30 minutes of cardio and-

I SAID NO EXCUSES! I'LL DECK YOU IF YOU TRY!

straight 30 minutes minimum, aim for 40 if you can.

After that you'll feel tired. WHO SAID YOU COULD REST! You Will have time to rest when you are DEAD soldier!

Grab those weights!

Do some weight lifts like you're Arnold Schwarneggar or however you spell his name. Yes, I know that you're a girl, but you will do the same amount as a man. This is so you can kick his ass if he starts to give you some sass.

Now, lay down on your exercise mat. Do some situps. Get those abs. Yes, objection noted, you are a female, I repeat you will do the same as a man!
You must defend yourself from sucker punches soldier, your stomach needs to hurt his or her hand, more than his or her hand hurts you. That is the key to defeating your respective bullies. Have I made myself clear?

(This is where you shout: "YES DRILL SERGEANT!")

Lastly, remember to UPGRADE your work out. The Maker did not make you so that you could live, grow fat and get a heart attack. Once you have the basics down. UPGRADE IT! You will get fit, you will get strong. It will take a year, but you will be a sexy god and/or goddess. Work out every day that you can, 7 days a week. Don't start compromising and shit, it's hard but it's worth it!

Clothing looks good only if your body looks good! Furthermore, when your body looks good, you will get hours of happiness out of posing in front of the god damn mirror. HAvE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?

Possible Solution #4 - Learn to use some makeup!

This applies to both MEN and WOMEN and it is best applied after number 3. While the natural look works for those of us who have been blessed by the Maker and his bride Andraste. Most of us, be ugly. I could show you pictures from my glory days and I was dirt ugly, hellah ugly, I was so ugly the paper bag looked better!

Now then, the secret is learning some basic make-up techniques. Once again, google and youtube are the 'books' that you will live by.

BOTH MEN and WOMEN have to learn this. Guys, I know you think looking disgusting works for you, but it doesn't, you look disgusting. A little foundation can brighten up that sun-starved face of yours and prevent you from looking like Edward Cullen. You are aiming to be sexy, not a pedophile. Hence you will NOT be like Cullen.

HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?

(YES DRILL SERGEANT! - Say it noobs!)

Next, for the ladies, DO NOT overdo it. A little foundation and eyeliner are enough. Eye-shadow is optional. Use cover-up for blemishes (MEN are you listening? There is nothing that prevents you from using the same things. It does not make you any less of a man, it makes you as freakin' sexy as the anime guys that you wish you were.)

Note: People often ask 'What about fashion?'. Fashion is relative. You can look good in anything. A simple hoodie, a pair of jeans in an appropriately tight size (and not huge as hell); using the techniques above, you will be FINE! Clothing does not make the man or the woman. The man or the women first makes themselves and then puts the clothing on as a dressing.

HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?

Conclusion:

If you have read this guide then you are armed. You are armed with the knowledge to make yourself happy.

So stop posting whiny statuses about how no one loves you. Do yourself a favour, read the guide, live the guide. If you need someone to motivate you, add me as a friend on facebook. I work out almost every day and I will only let you rest when you are DEAD!

So, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?




-Chen Yuan Wen, 16th July 2013
For the uncensored version copy and paste into a word document and replace all the instances of 'noob' with 'fag'

Alrighty then, I promised a poetry release but the recent self-whinery of all the people EVERYWHERE. Not just DA but on facebook as well...has made me pissed off enough to write this guide on how to be happy.

Happiness does not fall into your lap. You must reach out and grab it and it starts by putting in some effort!

This guide is how I became the Captain that you know me as today. This guide demonstrates how I've kept myself happy throughout all the shit I've experienced.

So do yourself a favour and make yourself happy xD

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:

P.S. Reading solutions 3 onward in the voice of a US Military Drill Sergeant makes it a helluva lot funnier x3.

P.P.S. Regular poetry and prose releases coming soon. This just had to be done first xD

P.P.P.S. If you've like to support me, donate points x'3 I need to buy myself a premium membership since mine just ran out .3.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconchromeantennae:
This is absolutely hilarious, first off. I love the sarcastic elements in this piece, but also the tidbits of truth that are really in this piece. It's a really, REALLY great piece. It's just hilarious, man. I also love the gratuitous of one of my favorite words, "noob."

The best way I can critique this piece is to point out some of my favorite parts of this piece. Mainly, "The Lowdown," simply because I've seen a LOT of people on Facebook do that and the way you use that here, is hilarious. :XD: Then we have, "We all know that OP is a noob," and how "OC is what separates the losers from the cool kids." LOL! Transforming from the loser stage to the cool kid stage. :XD:

I think I love just about everything about this because what you did was pull in the reader and keep him/her interested throughout the entire piece and you did it brilliantly through the use of humor, sarcasm, and wit.

This is a wonderful piece, dude. I most certainly have to check out your other works and we all must remember this guide so we will not look like whiny child noobs. :salute:

:lmao: Great job.
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:iconluminescent0513:
luminescent0513 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you good sir for making my day.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner May 13, 2014  Professional Writer
Glad I was able to my friend ^^ Sorry my reply is so late 

-Chenbeard the Pirate :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconluminescent0513:
luminescent0513 Featured By Owner May 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
No need to apologize, replying late is  better than replying never :)
Reply
:icondeathroman13:
deathroman13 Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013
Great pep talk :)
Reply
:icongabuchibi:
Gabuchibi Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
OMG I'm laughing so hard LOL I will follow the guide line by line drill sergeant! Thanks, it's awesome xD
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2013  Professional Writer
You are AB-SO-LUTELY welcome soldier *salute* now get to work on those ABS *3*

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:icongabuchibi:
Gabuchibi Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
LOL YES DRILL SERGEANT!
Reply
:icondrag0nblade:
DRAG0NBLADE Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
THIS MADE ME LOL SO HARD.
Thank for for MAKING MY YEAR.
*instant fav*
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2013  Professional Writer
Always glad to make someone's year LOL

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:

Reply
:iconhumanscolopendra:
HumanScolopendra Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Made me smile ;3
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013  Professional Writer
Glad t' know that ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconmaj0rmaremolester:
Maj0rMareMolester Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
"1. Posted a shitty status on Facebook hoping someone will pay attention to you.

2. Cried after no one liked your post because you have no friends.

3. Submitted your post to DA secrets so they could use it.

4. Felt better for about 30 seconds since people faved your secret.

5. If 4 didn't apply, you cried about it some more and then went to Tumblr for the next six hours."

That was pretty amazing and almost made me laugh but I don't laugh when reading anything. The same applied to: "Don't conform to societal norms and don't be afraid to avoid following the crowd. A major word of caution here though, is that you need to avoid turning into a hipster. No one likes a hipster."

Well hell I just ruined my previous statement because I laughed at :"Guys, I know you think looking disgusting works for you, but it doesn't, you look disgusting. A little foundation can brighten up that sun-starved face of yours and prevent you from looking like Edward Cullen. You are aiming to be sexy, not a pedophile. Hence you will NOT be like Cullen.

HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?"


A little too much Dragon Age and Dungeons and Dragons in the guide but it was still pretty good, even is OP is a fag, not a noob :)
Actually at the most you should work out for 3 days and take a break off because your body needs the rest to let your muscles rebuild. If you just lift weights with your arms every day it still works okay but that day break actually helps you bulk up faster. Also if you do full body workouts you should split them up into two sections (upper and lower body) and do upper body on day 1, lower on 2, upper 3, etc. etc. an d save that day off for Sunday. That's all the negativity and disbelief I have in your guide, now I shall get my lazy ass up and put on my mom's makeup to look presentable :XD:
Reply
:iconvardenaar:
Vardenaar Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ahahah.. while I wouldn't go with that fitness advice 100% (weights and BW and clusters all day, m8) this was extremely hilarious (as some other pieces of yours). Fav'd.

"Do some weight lifts like you're Arnold Schwarneggar or however you spell his name. Yes, I know that you're a girl, but you will do the same amount as a man. This is so you can kick his ass if he starts to give you some sass."

This one almost made me fall outta my chair, haha.
Reply
:iconmayli-song:
Mayli-Song Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for this. It's hilarious, and actually has a startling amount of truth in it.
(I read solutions 3 onward in the voice of a military drill sergeant, it does make it so much funnier)
Reply
:iconpeiridae:
Peiridae Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is perfect. It's funny, it's true, it's day-brightening. Please excuse me while I bask in the glory of my newfound happiness and freedom.
Reply
:iconsmartally12-13:
smartally12-13 Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
YES, DRILL SERGEANT!
Reply
:iconviolet---stone:
violet---stone Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2013  Student Writer
Lol.
Just
Lol.
Reply
:iconsmokedragon:
smokedragon Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2013
I really like this. Most people do just need a swift kick in the ass to get going, and this does it verbally in a perfect, organized way. It reminded me of a very important lesson I learned when I was younger. It has been a fundamental influence on how my life has improved since. Put simply, that you are the only person you are stuck with forever. Learn to live with yourself, love and take care of yourself. No one will do it for you, and no one can do it but you. Well done, Captain!
Reply
:iconsilent-winterland:
Silent-winterland Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
...lol this is so funny....xDD
Reply
:iconsilent-intrigant:
Silent-Intrigant Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wise words to live by, Capitan!
Reply
:iconzephyras-lied:
Zephyras-Lied Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2013  Student General Artist
This was hilarious, I love it! :D  
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Professional Writer
I'm glad ye enjoyed it m'friend x'3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconsparkknight2:
SparkKnight2 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist

To be honest I find that make up wrecks people. Even things like cover up make them look plastic and too perfect. I find that being clean and natural is all one needs to find true friends. Also make up shows me that you are not brave enough to be your self and that drives me away.


I love what you’re trying to do here though; I just wanted to give my opinion. And if wearing make up makes people feel good then go ahead and do it! :D


 

Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Professional Writer
Well depends on how you use it. Most of the time ye won't even notice if they've done a good job. When I use make-up no one can even tell x'3

Being unafraid to show your true self is one thing, but I believe everyone wants t' look their best for the people they care about. That is what drives me, not pride nor vanity, but simply because I know the other person will smile.

Yes ye could possibly delve into a whole spiel about how they're not accepting the true me etc. Yet at the same time, what if they did initially and I've simply chosen to improve?

At the end of the day, we do what we feel is best no? :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconsparkknight2:
SparkKnight2 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yeah I agree, people just over use make up way too much.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Professional Writer
That I can agree with :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconkoeryn:
Koeryn Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013
Funny that I select this to try out a speed reading App. I like your advice, it's solid, and your writing style is irreverent enough for entertainment without taking away from what you're passing along.

I will pass this along to a friend who could probably use it, favorite it to increase your visibility here (though that doesn't appear to be an issue at the moment), and go finish my pushups.

:salute:
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Professional Writer
A fave is always appreciated no matter what x'3 I thank ye kindly fer it. Sharin' me work is the best I could wish for ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconcryptid-girl:
Cryptid-Girl Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013
That Dragon Age reference just made my day, thanks man.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Professional Writer
Haha, I put in a few, I replayed it from Origins to Awakening recently so it's still fresh in me mind x'3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconcatbot158:
Catbot158 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013  Student Writer

...curses, I'm too lazy to exercise. I can try the other solutions though (and I already make my own content, hee hee)!

Really, I can find happiness through the simplest of things. The most beautiful of outdoor pictures make me smile, seeing little babies, anime openings and con videos featuring Vic Mignogna.

...And speaking of Vic, what's wrong with Ouran?! Those guys aren't that bad! So what if my OC men are flamboyant and airheaded?! It's not like I'm that desperate or anything! I'M NOT THAT MUCH OF A SHUT-IN!!!

*cough* 'cuse me, where was I? Oh yeah, praise.

Well, I'm glad you found happiness Cap'n, and I hope it lasts forever! Now to find some makeup...

Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Professional Writer
Yer lazy t' exercise? Nope, ye've got t' sign up fer Captain Camp. C'mon let me at least try and convince ya t' work out with me x'3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconcatbot158:
Catbot158 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Student Writer
Aww, you're too cute Cap'n. :pat: Someday sir, someday...
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Professional Writer
Noooo someday is too far away....ewww...both of those are nickleback songs, but anyway...joooin me...in fitness .3.

:iconzombieplz:

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconfantasylover103:
fantasylover103 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I started laughing so hard tears came out. 
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Professional Writer
Then that means I've done my job well x'3 Thank ye fer readin' ^^
 
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconfantasylover103:
fantasylover103 Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
XD No problem! :D
Reply
:iconashesandwings:
AshesAndWings Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Lol, halarious, and yet very true
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Professional Writer
Haha, hope it was helpful to ya x'3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:icongentlepeace:
GentlePeace Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Its got humor, its got advice (that works) , it, is, great!

I say that the only thing I got bad is:
Clothes I wear are a size too big.
I have no hairstyle! Curly is hard to work with!

But!
Funny and great :D


Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Professional Writer
OOOO my hair is actually curly too. You can either use a straightener or a straightening shampoo, it can loosen curls over time, or just rock yer curls...whoever said that was bad xD

And a size too big...it's not too bad, but you should keep 1 fitting set. Reason being, ye know that when the fitting set doesn't fit, it be time t' hit the gym. I keep my jeans as a motivational fer that x'3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:icongentlepeace:
GentlePeace Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Sorry I took so long to answer!
I'm scolding myself for no writing right Xl

I had no idea that straightening shampoo existed, 
And I don't think my hair is good or long enough for straighteners.
Experimenting with my hair!

I am trying to work out!
But I use the excuse of my body is still developing, which it is!
...
It's a horrible excuse.
Reply
:icondelrymple121:
Delrymple121 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
YES DRILL SERGEANT!! Ha! I love this <3 It makes me giggle, but it's oh so true as well. I usually tend to delete any whiners on my facebook, mostly because I don't want to read through all that drama. But, also, because I don't want it ruining my own happy vibes. Honestly, there are some very valid points in this guide that I think a lot of people can benefit from. So, props to you for taking time out of your life to offer advice to those who have none ^_^ I applaud you. Now, I'm going to stop rambling and go put some of this to good use XD Because, the MAKER knows I need to get back into my routine of exercising daily. <3
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Professional Writer
Andraste's blessin' upon ya xD

Getting some cardio everyday is good fer you and good fer everyone. Did I mention that you can actually meet people on yer jogs. Sometimes ye'll even get along with them if yer a regular. Or ye can ask a friend t' come along and get t' know 'em better.

At that point 30 minutes isn't even exercise time, it's my...get t' know someone better time. Though bein' a total shut-in, I use skype fer that purpose x'3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:icondelrymple121:
Delrymple121 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Me too lol I'm not a very social in person; not to mention most of my friends don't live in the same state as me.  It's easier when someone isn't staring you in the face. Maybe I should work on that as well! :D But, if I went outside more I'd get a tan @__@ and wouldn't be able to camouflage myself against the walls and my sneak skill would go down! lol Nah~ But, I would still have to come and read all your updates because I love them <3 
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Professional Writer
Bwahaha, well I exercise indoors most of the time, so it's fine x'3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconpetethegrouch:
PeteTheGrouch Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013
Hmph.. Look mate, not to seem like a naysayer or anything but.. Well, your whole "self-help" guide comes off as a little.. Preachy. Don't get me wrong, you make a few valid points; but in essence what you're saying is we should all re-invent ourselves for the sake of trying to impress  a bunch of people who, in all likelihood, will never be more than passing acquaintances...
Lemme give you an idea of where I'm coming from; a few years ago I finally come to the sad conclusion that, for most of us, about 98% of the people we meet in our lifetimes are pretty much worthless.. And yes, I know that sounds a very sweeping statement, but think about it for a sec; have many random strangers have you ever met who have actually done you a favour? Purely out of the goodness of their hearts..? Put it this way; if you need more than one hand to count it then you're a very lucky person...:smoking:
Basically, the point I'm trying to get across is; why bend over backwards trying to gain the approval of people who will never likely enrich your life in any meaningful manner? That's my two cents worth anyway.
And, just to show you I'm not simply trolling for the sake of it, here's a few tips of my own for making this bleak, lonely existence of ours a bit more bearable..

1# Never open a Facebook account; it's a complete waste of time.:movingon:
2# Never try to please everyone, otherwise you'll invariably please no one, least of all yourself...
3# Where possible, be courteous toward others, but don't try to martyr yourself; few if any will truly appreciate your sacrifice..
4# NEVER get married; not in this day & age.:fear:
5# Get a cat; they're low-maintenance & accept you for who you are, warts & all.
6# Above all, CHERISH those 2% of people who are actually worth a damn.. You won't meet many, so make the most of those you do!

Yes, at the end of the day, maybe I'm just a cantankerous prick.. But, hey; I'm just trying to make the best of a bad situation, same as everyone else!;)
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Professional Writer
Hey yer welcome t' yer own point of view. Some will prefer t' live as you do. Me personally I don't really see this as bendin' over backwards...I appear to accomplish it with very little effort and my policy is to never recommend anythin' that I don't try meself xD

I do hope t' get married with a girl I love very much. I want t' be fit so I can raise my kids th' way me father raised me. That makes me happy and if what you do makes ye happy, then we're both fine. No one method is greater than the other, but the guide should be there fer those who want t' follow ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconarmour9:
Armour9 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013
I love this!! thanks for the info!
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Professional Writer
Yer most welcome friend, it's worked fer me fer about 3 years. Sometimes I get caught in front of those shopping mall mirror pullin' sexy grins xD

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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