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Submitted on
September 6, 2013
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I wonder how many days you've spent feeling lost.
Thinking that you're going somewhere.
Never actually getting anywhere.

You look at the same four walls over and over again.
You can paint them in different colours,
But you know they're still the same.

And you convince yourself that you're making progress,
Nothing's changed, but you're making progress.
Things are getting worse, but you're making progress.

And then you wake up and realise,
That shit has hit the fan...

Suddenly you're forced to do the things you couldn't,
The kind of things that you were never comfortable with.

And you find out you can do them.
You find out that the only reason you couldn't,
Was because you were afraid to try.

It's hard - trying to take that first step.
It's hard - trying to convince yourself to take that chance.

But if you don't, you'll stay the same.
And I think that we're both sick of that.


What can I say?

Eventually, you get pretty sick of being worthless. I mean, I was once a bottom feeder and I'd watch people try to rise to top and sink and I'd convince myself that wasn't the way to go. But you know what, sometimes you've got to take a chance and though I can't quite give the full details on what I'm workin' on. I think I'm finally ready to go beyond the surface of the pond.

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
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:iconreikinojutsu:
this poem says everything im feeling right now...
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:iconlivethelifeyoulov3:
livethelifeyoulov3 Oct 20, 2013  Student General Artist
This is emotional poetry man, I love it, espcially how you described it all, then ended it on that positive note, that there is hope. Rock on!
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:iconmant01:
Excellent piece that describes me and other perfect. Before my Granddad died I was talking to him about wishing I could move to Australia and his words were very simple ''its just a single step''. He was right, whatever you want starts with a single step towards the change you desire. Its you changing direction instead of sitting still because the road looks tough. I still hold his words dear since they were amongst the last we spoke and all I can say is, I'll try my best granddad and I love you.
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:iconbellagbear:
BellaGBear Sep 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
very true words Chen. I like how you first explain how depression feels and then state the cause to actually do something about it.

I also like the last line because it is a fact people get bored or fed-up with depressed people.
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:iconforsaken-blue:

So true of how so many must feel. But remember, our worth is not measured by societies values.

I hope this project works out for you, whatever it is, and I hope you do break free from the vicious cycle :)

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:iconangiethecamel:
AngieTheCamel Sep 7, 2013
Beautiful and inspiring :)
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:iconmadmax2002:

My opinion, for the little that it's worth, is that you're not worthless. 

There are so many ways of seeing things, we call these "ideologies". Because of my own anxiety disorder and afflictions, I literally spend my time in an 8 x 8 foot room, like a prison cell. I've been in it for 12 years. Some of my best artwork has come from this cell.

Yes, I am the bottom, I am the least of people by the world's reckoning, but I don't value what the world values.

So I think what really needs to be conquered, is the ideology that tells you you are worthless when you are not. That is a lie you have lived by and told yourself. I say this as one of the least of people, I speak from great experience when I tell you, you are not worthless, but my opinion comes from the bottom of the spectrum so perhaps you will not value it. If it helps, if I was at the top, I would say the same. 

Perhaps you could try valuing these following positive things;

"Love, joy, peace, kindness, patience, gentleness, goodness, and self control."

Am I worthless if I have these things? If people say I am then I say people are backwards! So cheer up, you are of great value, everyone is.
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:iconardianada:
ArdianaDA Sep 7, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This completely describes how I feel...I feel empty and worthless most of the time...
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:iconmountymacabre:
MountyMacabre Sep 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is exactly how I feel! I have written many poems along similar lines myself.
Your writing is fantastic!
Very true, honest and heartfelt and I can completely sympathise and emathise with it.
Great job!
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:iconaspiringwriteroflove:
Aspiringwriteroflove Sep 7, 2013  Professional Writer
"A very thoughtful and heartfelt piece of writing.  I shall add it to my favorites.  :)"   J.L Thomas.
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