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Can I Cut Yet?:

Hey, Hey Sadako
Hey...
I really want to cut something
can I, can I please?

This girl is talking to me, she seems rather nice
The colour of her eyes makes me think of fucking lice
I want to cut her, I want to cut her so bad!
but that seems to make Sadako really sad...

Okay, I guess I won't cut her

Hey, Hey Sadako
This teacher is really boring
I want to cut him, I WANT TO CUT HIM SO BAD!

I'm in class now, Sadako stands beside me
She points out a mistake I made in my notes
I start tearing at the paper while grinding my teeth
I want to show them my frustration, OH SO BAD!
but that seems to make Sadako really sad...

Okay, I guess I'll wait till I get home

HEY, HEY SADAKO!
My whole body is trembling, my hands are in shakes
The world is spinning and I'm sweating out cold
The box-cutter is in my hands and I hold it up high
I want to cut something, I want to cut something up so bad!
HEY HEY! CAN I CUT THIS, CAN I CUT THIS LUMP OF FLESH?
WHAT ABOUT MY CHEEKS, MY HANDS, CAN I CUT THOSE TOO?

Sadako stares as though I'm crazy mad
but I'm not bad, I'm not bad
She looks at me with pity and takes my cutter from me
She puts it in a place where I cannot see...

It's always the same, she's always there
she always looks like I've made her sad
Hey, Hey Sadako...
Why are you so sad?
is it because I didn't cut anything today?
I see, okay, I'll cut something tomorrow then
and maybe then, then...


-Chen Yuan Wen, 29th August 2012
If you want to spread the message of pain, don't forget to click the favourite button .____.

Author's Comment:

Recently, I've seen a lot of poetry that deals with emotional issues and self-harm. However, it seems to focus only on a particular angle of self-harm, that is to say, those that do it out of frustration and sorrow.

Yet, self-harm also exists in the form of mental instability. An addiction to pain and a distortion from reality, usually reflected in schizophrenia which can create both auditory and visual hallucinations.

In this case I chose to narrate from the point of someone who is obviously blending into society on the surface (because he'd just be seen as a weird kid) but on the inside is very disturbed.

Sadako is a mental representation of his own self-restraint, his sane self and her name is a contrast with the J-Horror entity.

In any case, I wanted to use this piece as an experiment for my new idea and to test out what happens when I break away from the usual four line format.

Enjoy ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:

P.S. Just before anyone raises the grammar and punctuation thing, I've heard it all before. I chose the particular grammar style to use the written word to its fullest form. Capitals, bold, italics, it's all a tool like different colours made to create a painting ^^

Other Poems by Me:
Overcome your Writer's Block Overcome your Writer's Block:

If you want to deal with writer's block
the plan is simple, tickty-tock
Give in to madness, go insane
search for words in the midst of rain

When you hit the wall on its painted face
with your fingers and knees you'll find a trace
The secret passage that will lead you through
or perhaps you might be eaten by a grue...

Oh well...

Back to the rhymes that I use to explain
If you try to go forward it will be in vain
So try a new direction, upward or down
Left or right maybe Charlie Brown?

There are no limits except in your mind
Now do a google search and what do you find?
A pond of ideas now stagnant a
Add a Comment:
 
:iconloutrah:
Critique by LouTrah Aug 29, 2012, 9:38:05 AM
I loved this piece. The way you convey the thoughts of the character as they are seemingly harassed by those around them. Harassed not just by their actions, but of their existence itself. The use of font styles to express different thoughts or moods was really well done. I really enjoyed the anticipation of the piece after every stanza, waiting to see when they'll cut something and having them not cut just yet made a wonderful cliffhanger for the next day. All in all, a wonderfully written piece that stands out. Good use of caps in lieu of just using exclamation points to drive home some lines.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
14 out of 16 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconmrfancydreams:
I first must say I truly enjoyed this piece. As you mentioned in your comments, many people don't see self harm from this angle, and I loved your depiction of this. However, I do have to admit I did get confused when I first read this piece.
In the first stanza, I believed this was indeed the inner thoughts of one person, but towards the end that changed. In a way I can say that's brilliant. The fact that you could make such stark personality clashes in one person. Though, I would have enjoyed it more if maybe there were a bit more hints thrown about that this person was indeed just thinking to themself, that this was all just ONE person. But I did enjoy the mystery of not fully knowing if this was two people or not. Part of the fun is always in guessing I guess XD.
I would have also liked a more in depth look at this 'character'. Like, what other quirks and challenges does this person have to deal with? Does this inner, crazier personality realize what's happening in the out side world nd how her actions affect it, or just what's going on with Sadako? Do they find other ways to release their anger when not able to cut(like how they crumbled the paper)?...I really wanted to know this, because what you gave was so enticing, I wanted to know more.
But, amongst all of this, I have to praise you on how you ended the peice. It definetly brought the message home. It felt like the ending of a criminal minds' episode, where you believe the killer is gone for good, only to realize they're still just as crazy, lethal, and able to kill again. It left a sense of foreboding and yet excitement, and I truly enjoyed that. I must say I'm sorry for rambling on like this, but this piece was so different from others I've read, that I had to critique it. I hope you make many more wonderful pieces like this in the future.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
8 out of 12 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconrovelae:
Rovelae Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Chilling! I really like the delusional main character and double personalities. :D
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Professional Writer
Uhuhuhu, thank you for enjoying my work dear friend ^^

-Captain Chen of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconlolnyny:
lolnyny Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
OMG, because of you I have evn more favorite!!! You're amazing!
Reply
:iconnoorelven:
noorelven Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012
Almost like Dexter and Debra Morgan!
Reply
:iconlivinginmythoughts:
LivingInMyThoughts Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2012
... wow. That's a scary thought. Its almost... shocking. And no matter how many times I read it, I have the same reaction as the first time. I guess that's kind of a good thing...? I guess, really, this is a terrific poem, in a morbid way.
Reply
:iconninjapixiex3:
NinjAPixiEX3 Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow that was really good. very interesting.
Reply
:icondawnfad:
Dawnfad Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
xD i fave your work to much but your soooo good at what you do and i can kinda relate in some sense with this ._.
Reply
:iconsimonpark81:
simonpark81 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:wave:
:icondeverythingart: here!
sorry to be a stuttering nancy about this, but could you resubmit to mature works folder?
though im totally into freedom of speech i have to keep to the rules too, and this is not appropriate for little ones to be reading. all the best, hope you're well my friend.
Reply
:iconirideamagicalladle:
IRideAMagicalLadle Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You really do have a way with words! This is a very inetresting angle you took on the self-harm issue, you had my skin crawling and covered with goose bumps by the 3rd line!
Reply
:iconcopperfrost:
Copperfrost Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012  Student General Artist
Hmm. Interestingly morbid XD
Reply
:iconcrysanthemum963:
crysanthemum963 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2012
Gosh this poem was amazing dude. :O
Reply
:icondavidhutton123479:
davidhutton123479 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
color
L:?
Reply
:iconthelasticonoclast:
TheLastIconoclast Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012
It reads like a twisted version of "Hey Porter". Beautiful.
Reply
:iconclosetonowher-e:
closetonowher-e Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012  Student General Artist
i like it, it talks to me. ^-^
Reply
:iconpaper-doesnt-judge:
paper-doesnt-judge Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012   Writer
Brilliant as usual
Reply
:iconjmjack156:
jmjack156 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
very twisted, i like it. But It kind of looks like the restrained personality wants to please this other personality. But other then me not completely understanding why I like it, the different point of view it has from others makes it seem great.
Reply
:iconcosmowillome:
CosmoWillome Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
At first i thought Sadako was a girl who liked him XD silly me! I like your interpertation more though....
Reply
:iconcopycat01:
copycat01 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
love the piece! It flows really well and the back and forth is very interesting.
I have one complaint- schizophrenia is not characterized by self harm. It would be very out of character for a schizophrenic actually (unless he did it to make the voice stop annoying him, but it seems like he's doing it of his own will- since the hallucination seems sad). Not to mention both auditory and visual hallucinations together are highly rare- it's something media has invented.

now with that said- there are exceptions. And it is easy to explain by saying you character is a rarity! SO I do not mean to say it's a flaw in your writing- just in your artist description. "usually reflected in schizophrenia"- no, very rare. More like OCD or depression that is presenting with psychosis.

sorry- as a graduate in psychology, these things are hard to let go. As a fan of literature- I give this two thumbs up!
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Professional Writer
Haha, sorry, my uncle suffers from schizophrenia and is prone to self-harm as well as violent tendencies. It depends on the level of their psychosis I suppose.

Still thank you for contributing and reading :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconcopycat01:
copycat01 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
one case does not mean it's normal. doesn't depend on the level, but the particular person's hallucination and possible co-occuring disorders.
You know, I completely forgot to fav after commenting! I really like your style of writing :>
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2012  Professional Writer
Haha, thank you :3 Please come back and enjoy more and yes I know one sample isn't representative of the population, but this was more an artistic piece and interpretation xD. We can't have perfect knowledge ;3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconabstruseone:
AbstruseOne Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
This piece of peotry is highly accurate (coming from someone who has Schizophrenia).
Reply
:iconchocolateshortcake77:
ChocolateShortcake77 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
Everyone knows what it's like to be frustrated, and I felt that it was a very relatable piece, but it also had that twist that I normally don't see in others. Lovely job, as always.
Reply
:iconcopperfawn:
CopperFawn Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist
This is amazing! It gave me the chills. :clap:
Reply
:iconundeadgrrl:
Undeadgrrl Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Student Artisan Crafter
this feels like me, a year ago.
Reply
:iconhakkaobake:
hakkaobake Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well done. Never before have I encountered writing that looks at this issue from such a point of view. Thank you for the experience.
Reply
:iconmossstar10:
Mossstar10 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Amazingful, Captain. I'm in a pondering mood now~
Reply
:iconangel0fblack:
angel0fblack Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
It seemed like... She no longer is human, but rather... A blade. To cut or not to cut is the only action they are capable of...
Reply
:iconrosella-of-daventry:
Rosella-of-Daventry Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I really enjoyed reading this for several reasons, and I especially like how you wrote it from a different perspective for a different angle of this issue. I think what I enjoyed best was that, as I read it, the entire thing had an alternative rock song vibe to it.
Reply
:iconsmilesweetheart47:
Smilesweetheart47 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
You are beautiful.
Reply
:iconconversefanatic:
ConverseFanatic Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
......this is just pure genius
Reply
:iconpluto785ronoh:
Pluto785Ronoh Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
this is really good and brings on a pretty good topic
Reply
:icongammawarmech:
Gammawarmech Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
deep
Reply
:iconspartan500:
Spartan500 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
oh, im so glad so many people on DA condone the prevalence of violence in common society.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Professional Writer
This isn't condoning violence but rather bringing an understanding of psychosis and the actual need to cut as a juxtapose to the usual self-harm of emotionally vulnerable teenagers ^^

Please take your time to read the issues and understand :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconspartan500:
Spartan500 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2012
if you are not blind, then you should have seen some one else tried to correct me, and then i shut them down.

you think it'll be much different for you??

and pirates lick my balls.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2012  Professional Writer
Well that's alright ^^ As far as I can see you are quite the angry individual, but as I said that's alright. My works can be enjoyed by all :3

Come again soon~ ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconspartan500:
Spartan500 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2012
wow you had no clue what the whole thing was do you.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2012  Professional Writer
A reader is a reader :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconspartan500:
Spartan500 Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2012
does not make one a communicator, or a smart one, does it?? (obviously, no.)
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2012  Professional Writer
If you've answered the question, it's not a question either is it :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconganbatte123:
Ganbatte123 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh I'm glad so many people read the descriptions. :facepalm:
Reply
:iconspartan500:
Spartan500 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
:icontrollfaceplz:
Reply
:iconganbatte123:
Ganbatte123 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
XD
Reply
:iconspartan500:
Spartan500 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
:iconthumbsupplz:
Reply
:iconnichtalleine:
nichtalleine Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
Maybe this should have a trigger warning, because of the topic?
Reply
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