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Literature Text
Bedridden:
Here I lie, motionless,
A prisoner within my own body.
Yet there lies a subtle clarity;
A moment of understanding, achieved by infirmity.
And though my body is racked with pain,
My conscious mind delves ever deeper into the pool of the soul.
...Falling...faintly...
My mind is flooded with a racket of noise.
I am cast into the swirling rip-tide of forbidden knowledge,
Clinging to the flotsam of sanity as a Leviathan roars below.
It swallows me into an acidic whirlpool.
Drowning me deep beneath the bubbling surface of the past.
And there, in the murky depths where my very self begins to rot,
A grinning maw of tongues and fangs, bids me a cold "hello!".
-Chen Yuan Wen, 26th June 2013
Here I lie, motionless,
A prisoner within my own body.
Yet there lies a subtle clarity;
A moment of understanding, achieved by infirmity.
And though my body is racked with pain,
My conscious mind delves ever deeper into the pool of the soul.
...Falling...faintly...
My mind is flooded with a racket of noise.
I am cast into the swirling rip-tide of forbidden knowledge,
Clinging to the flotsam of sanity as a Leviathan roars below.
It swallows me into an acidic whirlpool.
Drowning me deep beneath the bubbling surface of the past.
And there, in the murky depths where my very self begins to rot,
A grinning maw of tongues and fangs, bids me a cold "hello!".
-Chen Yuan Wen, 26th June 2013
Literature
Bones mend, but tell no lies.
You have cataloged your scars
like your body is a library-
to be read through &
learned from.
You think of
all the little boys
whose greedy fingers
graced
your pages.
You are angry-
none
cared for you
properly:
folding
creasing
& breaking
your spine.
They left you
on a shelf
to gather dust.
& why
should you ever
forget that?
Literature
The Little Girl Blinked
The little girl blinked and he was gone
Unsure if he was ever really there
But she knew that something had inspired her
To do things she wouldn’t normally dare
A teardrop too many he once told her
Had brought him from the shadows of her mind
As those around her began to wander
Across her imagination's fine line
But now he seemed to have walked away
As she found the life she had long sought
He slowly drifted back to the shadows
From her notebook and her beautiful thoughts
And the fools around her carried the spades
Burying him with her imagination
With an epitaph etched on a tombstone
‘Here lies my potential for creation’
Literature
broken dreams and invisible heartstrings
Every morning,
she wakes up to a
hollow chest & stormy,
red rimmed eyes.
It's so easy to be in love
with being in love;
swallowing fake truths
& sincere lies.
But her heart—
it forgot how to smile
two years ago,
because no one can tell
the difference between
imitations & reality.
"Please,
please find me;
I'm lost between the cracks of
dying stars."
Desperate to breathe
yet wondering how it would feel
to drown,
she's never belonged
in this universe.
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Hey everyone ^^
The Captain's got a medical condition that sort of flares up whenever he gets stressed and the move is probably very stressful for him. In any case, the condition leaves him unable to sleep from pain and so I have politely ordered him to rest for the time being.
However, he woke up later and told me to post this for all of you.
Though his condition often causes him quite a great deal of pain, he often uses those times to put his brain to work thinking up unique ways to express things in writing. So, regardless of whether you enjoyed this piece or not, this was the fruit of that effort ^^.
Anyway, enjoy everyone <3 I have to go listen to another one of his speeches about why 'real men' refuse proper pain-killers and simply endure hours of suffering because 'dat's what it means t' be a REAL MAN!' xD
P.S. I've decided to included an image I drew myself to accompany this poem, you can purchase it for just 10 points (help the Captain earn a little extra eh?) :3 Every purchase helps us a lot! <3
-Co-Captain Bunny Hayes
The Captain's got a medical condition that sort of flares up whenever he gets stressed and the move is probably very stressful for him. In any case, the condition leaves him unable to sleep from pain and so I have politely ordered him to rest for the time being.
However, he woke up later and told me to post this for all of you.
Though his condition often causes him quite a great deal of pain, he often uses those times to put his brain to work thinking up unique ways to express things in writing. So, regardless of whether you enjoyed this piece or not, this was the fruit of that effort ^^.
Anyway, enjoy everyone <3 I have to go listen to another one of his speeches about why 'real men' refuse proper pain-killers and simply endure hours of suffering because 'dat's what it means t' be a REAL MAN!' xD
P.S. I've decided to included an image I drew myself to accompany this poem, you can purchase it for just 10 points (help the Captain earn a little extra eh?) :3 Every purchase helps us a lot! <3
-Co-Captain Bunny Hayes
© 2013 - 2024 WordOfChen
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(Copying comment I posted already because it'd make more sense to put it here.)
Best of your stuff I've seen so far. Still sounds a lot more like a reading of prose than poetry, but that might be because it has an urban, Spoken Wordy edge to it, I dunno.
I did like some stuff in here though. "flotsam of sanity" "acidic whirlpool" and "swirling rip-tide of forbidden knowledge" all stood out to me.
I think what might improve your stuff would be to not relate to your imagery directly in-poem, if that makes sense. Basically, instead of saying "cast into the swirling rip-tide..." try something along the lines of "cast into swirling rip-tides...". This makes it sound nicer, and not referring to it directly doesn't take out its magic.
Another (perhaps personal) hint would be to either keep rhyming constant, or to not use it at all. Either accidentally or deliberately, you made a really nice near-rhyme with "clarity" and "infirmity"... but then you don't continue it, and it seems a bit out of place and promises more rhyming without providing any. In my own opinion, this makes the poem lose some of its touch.
However, this is still a good improvement from your other work. Keep it up!