literature

Barely Breathing

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WordOfChen's avatar
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Literature Text

Barely Breathing:

Are you feeling cold in here, lost perhaps
It makes me wonder if you can even hear me
Has your mind degraded into a lump of fat
Broken by what you've been forced to endure?

As I stroke your cheeks it makes me remember
The loving shrillness of your frightened shrieks
You screamed and screamed until your throat was bloody
As I slowly took your limbs from you...

Now you dangle helpless on wires and chains
An artistic puppet, which is made from flesh
No hands or feet to lash out violently
No arms or muscles to thrash...

The breath that rasps from your broken lips
Is the sound that tells me, you are still alive
But rest assured that you will keep on living
For I will never let you go...

I remember those days when you used to mock me
Your taunts were directed at my manner of speech
A lisp that would draw your cruel laughter
Has been silenced by taking the tongue...

Now these tubes that feed into your rigid back
Will keep you alive, if only barely
For now you must suffer, as you made me suffer
In  world where you are barely breathing...

"Now then, where is my video camera..."

-Chen Yuan Wen, 5th July 2012
Fave it if you enjoyed it ^^:
Those who fave in the first hour get a dedication tomorrow. It helps me know who enjoys my work :3.

Author's Comment:

Arrr maties,

Brand new theme and a brand new week. As ye can see, this week's theme is horror. Now, there is a creepypasta floatin' around tha internet called "Barelybreathing.avi". I don't advise ya ta go lookin' for it, as it's poor. I read it over and thought...this person has little idea of what a TRUE SADIST would think.

And so, here is a chilling poem, from the mind of the disturbed. Please enjoy yeselves an don't ferget ta fave if ya want ta see more ;3.

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:

Other Poems by Me:
An Epic Legend - [link]
The Tomb of Khaine - [link]
To Save a Princess - [link]
SCREAM - [link]

Other Prose by Me:
Sanguine Chapter 1 - Release 4 - [link]
Pirate: The Legend of Chenbeard, Chapter 1 - Release 1 - [link]
Mercenary Chapter 1 - Release 1 - [link]
© 2012 - 2024 WordOfChen
Comments108
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theWitchofGrich's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

Brilliant! Absolutely BRILLIANT!

This poem is written with outstanding choice of vocabulary. The technique is very good and the emotions are superb. And again, the tone of superiority is present, taunting the victim, basking in the victory over the one who has fallen.

The descriptions are excellent - very curt and brisk... and alive, powerful! Emotional! Haunting! You can feel the triumph as the artist speaks, retelling exactly what he has done... with pride. He marvels his work and he is excellent at noticing. His observations are very detailed and clear despite being short. Yes, he enjoys the outcome. It almost makes you shiver in anticipation.

Very emotional and very powerful!
As I said, brilliant!