Aren't You Ashamed Yet?

This is a pretty powerful piece. However, there are a few things I'd like to point out.

Firstly, is the 1st line, "Aren't You Ashamed Yet?:", part of the poem?

Another thing is that although the bolding of words related to worms is quite effective in portraying the filth associated, I feel that the bolding of "lies" and "tainted lips" had unnessary attention drawn towards them.

The first stanza captures the idea of the poem quite well. I have no problems here.

In the second stanza, I felt the direct address towards your subject was a little melodramatic and awkward at times. For example, you establish a conversational tone at the start of that stanza but then use words such as "perfidious" that not many people would actually say, making the tone of this stanza inconsistent.

In the third stanza, the use of anaphora ("You... you...you") was quite effective but perhaps the removal of the word 'and' might enhance the effect. Not sure, but you could try it.

In the fourth stanza, I thought the first line was a bit simplistic and redundant when combined with the last three. Otherwise, it seems fine.

The last stanza seemed a little disjointed from the rest of the poem which had a smoother progression. The narrator's direct object is suffering to suddenly and there appears to be nothing in between. The cyclical nature of this poem is effective because it implies that pretence, lies etc... are contagious. However, it may have been more effective if it the ending had been less jagged.

However, I am not an experienced writer myself and the above suggestions are just my opinion so I may be wrong.

Overall, I think this was a fittingly confronting, expressive and impressive poem.

Well done

Thank you

^_*